Ever wonder what the world would be like if George Lucas made reality television shows? Or if MTV made classic science fiction movies?

Me either. I have no idea why I did these. But, I DID! Here are some collectible trading cards from the alternate universe mashing up a galaxy far, far away with the boardwalk just across the river. It’s the world of Ewops, Tattoo-ine and partying at the Mos Jersey Cantina. A wonderful place where the stress of saving the universe over and over is replaced by the relative ease of hooking up with random hot Guidos and Guidettes over and over.

Though there are numerous beautiful characters and things from the offspring of Star Wars and Jersey Shore, I’ve managed to whittle it down to the Top 5, and here they are:

Please know that I meant no offense to Star Wars fans.