Thong wearing author Alexis Neiers gives cellmate Lindsay Lohan advice

45381, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 23 2010. Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers enjoys a night at Premiere Club in Hollywood. Alexis seemed to lose her footing as she climbed the kerb, tripping over in her high heels but luckily a friend was there to catch her! Later in the evening, Neiers drove away from the club and was allegedly pulled over by the police. The star was reportedly then allowed to drive off. Photograph: Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com

It apparently wasn’t enough for Alexis Neiers to be a reality star and cellmate of Lindsay Lohan.  The sexy brunette from E’s Pretty Wild and Bling Ring burglary infamy has authored a book!  According to TMZ she is currently shopping it around by promoting it like this:

Think Gossip Girl goes to Hollywood — It is a cautionary tale as well as a guilty pleasure; the reader is plunged into the crazy, out-of-control world of one of Hollywood’s most infamous party girls.”

Oh man that’s rich, and noteworthy because there seems to be no mention of the whole robbing Orlando Bloom’s house thing.  Neiers did not go it alone as she was grammatically assisted by ghost writer Sheryl Berk who has worked on previous literary entries for Britney Spears, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Barney the purple dinosaur.

In additional Alexis news she was cornered by the fine folks over at X17 and asked about her famous cellmate Lindsay Lohan and the news that she was headed back to jail.  Here is the video of the advice Neiers had to give in Lilo’s time of need:

Just in case you didn’t believe your ears or are at a place where you can’t turn up the volume here is what she had to say:

“I think everything in life comes down to choices and when you’re making imbalanced choices there’s obviously going to be reprecussions.  Unfortunately she’s (Lindsay Lohan) going to have to learn a lesson – again, I mean, I was at Lynwood and I would never want to go back.”

That’s outlaw wisdom right there and who am I to judge.  I ain’t never hit the block in Lynwood having to face that darkness with nothing but my reality show memories and the hushed whisper of Lohan prayers filling the air.  Lilo and Alexis are sisters-in-outlaw and that’s a bond as thick as blood or at least way thicker than the skirt Alexis recently wore out clubbin’.  That’s right I just turned that around on you to get to more photos of the Lynwood alum strutting around in a see through skirt and thongy-thong-thong-thong!

Funny, this is the kind of outfit I see most ladies wearing in the movies I’ve watched about women in prison:

45381, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 23 2010. Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers enjoys a night at Premiere Club in Hollywood. Alexis seemed to lose her footing as she climbed the kerb, tripping over in her high heels but luckily a friend was there to catch her! Later in the evening, Neiers drove away from the club and was allegedly pulled over by the police. The star was reportedly then allowed to drive off. Photograph:  Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com

45381, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday September 23 2010. Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers enjoys a night at Premiere Club in Hollywood. Alexis seemed to lose her footing as she climbed the kerb, tripping over in her high heels but luckily a friend was there to catch her! Later in the evening, Neiers drove away from the club and was allegedly pulled over by the police. The star was reportedly then allowed to drive off. Photograph:  Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com

All Photos: Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com