The Winder family from TLC’s Seeking Sister Wife have been on an emotional roller coaster over the past few months.
The family announced on Christmas Day that Tami Winder was pregnant with her second child — a true gift given her struggles with infertility. Then, the family found out on New Year’s Eve that Sophie (who has also struggled with infertility) was pregnant again as well. However, Sophie suffered a miscarriage not long after.
“We found out we were expecting another little one on New Years Eve,” the family shared in a statement posted on multiple social media platforms over the weekend. “A few weeks later found out we had miscarried.”
More from the family’s statement:
Having a miscarriage is always hard. Processing grief comes in many forms, and it’s good to let those emotions flow when they surface. We believe that our children come to us when they are supposed to, not always when we plan it. We look forward to seeing when we will be blessed with our next child ♥️
In addition to the written statement, Sophie Winder also shared a YouTube video update recorded in a hospital room. She reveals in the video that she first saw signs of bleeding on Wednesday, January 11. At that point, Sophie says she tried to remain in bed.
I was on my fourth day of staying down, and just working from bed, and just trying to rest, and taking all of the nutritional things that I could to make sure that I didn’t lose the pregnancy…It was kind of promising for a while because I kept getting to a point where my bleeding went away completely.
I would do that two or three times throughout the day where I would bleed a lot and then my bleeding would go away. So I just tried to stay down…and just take care of myself and and my baby.
Then the bleeding started getting worse on Saturday, so Colton and I came into the ER…When I got here I started passing a lot of clots and we think that I might have miscarried when I got here to the hospital because by the time we got to the ultrasound room there was nothing in my uterus.
Sophie says that she was between six and eight weeks along at the time of her miscarriage, and she was back in the hospital for tests when she recorded the video.
Sophie is obviously saddened by the miscarriage in the video, but she is also resiliently positive — a trademark Winder family quality. She talks a little but about the fact that she and Tami were expecting at the same time.
“We were really shocked with the timing of it because that would have meant that Tami and I were, like, eight weeks apart from each other,” Sophie says. “That’s kind of crazy. They would have been pretty much twins, which is kind of an interesting dynamic. But, we would have welcomed it.”
Here’s Sophie’s full video:
Colton Winder responds to negative comment
The response to the Winder family’s announcement in regards to Sophie’s miscarriage was overwhelmingly positive and supportive. However, there was at least one comment that Colton Winder saw as “despicable” and “trashy.”
“All the focus should be on Tami, it’s deserved,” the commenter wrote. “God spoke.”
Here is how Colton responded in the comments section:
Colton here. Miscarriage is deserved? That’s a despicable, trashy position to take. God spoke to me as well, and He’s telling me to tell you to be a better person.
We’re all extremely grateful that Tami is pregnant. We’ve worked for it, and we’ve all been right in there with her, hoping, praying, comforting, and loving. Tami has reciprocated that love to Sophie as well. It’s a pitiful, shallow personality that believes that one pregnancy detracts from another, or that a miscarriage is deserved.
Colton posted a screen shot of the above comments on social media and added a very lengthy response:
Tami and Sophie have been working on a podcast in which they’re going to address this topic. I (Colton) wanted to take an opportunity in a post to share my feelings regarding this disgusting school of thought that some coward posted, and deleted when they were called out for it.
Both Tami and Sophie have been through a lot on their journey with fertility. I have watched them for the past 5 years being each other’s cheerleaders when pregnancies were looking good, and providing each other love and a shoulder to cry on when it didn’t work out. They feel each others triumphs and losses, and they have both sacrificed and worked hard to contribute to the success of our family and each other’s pregnancies.
I know it’s difficult for people from a monogamous world to view our family through any lense other than what their background and experience has provided. The ability to think outside of oneself doesn’t generally come naturally to people. What does come naturally is the ability to judge, to hurt, to lash out at what is different and what we fear. It’s natural to inflate our egos and importance, and to tear down others in the process. So, I try to be patient and understanding when people struggle with us and our dynamic.
Still, to tell a grieving mother and a grieving family that a miscarriage is “God speaking” is as low as a person can get. I said what I said. We’re all thrilled for Tami, and so excited and grateful. We didn’t intend to have another pregnancy in the family right now, but it’s a blessing we’re always open to. Both of these babies would have been loved, wanted, and cherished. We can be grateful and excited for Tami’s blessing, and still mourn for Sophie’s loss. At the end, for us, it’s a blessing for us all and a loss for us all.
UPDATE – Colton has since shared an additional Instagram post to assure the Winder family’s followers that he does not focus just on the negativity:
Colton again. I do want to say, for the record, that we recognize how many wonderful, positive, loving people follow us and interact with us on these accounts. We’re grateful for the kind and uplifting influence so many of you have on us. I apologize if the perception sometimes seems that we hone in on the negative. That isn’t our intent, at all. We feel terribly that we aren’t able to respond to every thoughtful comment, and every message we receive. I just hope you all know that they are seen, appreciated, and reciprocated. God bless you all!
Tami Winder’s pregnancy
Just as Colton stated, “we can be grateful and excited for Tami’s blessing, and still mourn for Sophie’s loss.” I am a big fan of the Winders, and I am so excited that Tami’s attempts to have another baby have resulted in a pregnancy!
As mentioned near the top of this post, Tami has struggled with infertility issues since the birth of her daughter, Sadie. She has been sharing details about her struggles with her YouTube followers. Here is Tami’s most recent update from September — which was a little more than three months prior to her Christmas pregnancy announcement:
Congratulations to Tami — and the entire Winder family. Meanwhile, our thoughts are also with them in regards to Sophie’s miscarriage. And a big thanks to the family for continuing to share their lives with fans after their departure from Seeking Sister Wife.