PHOTOS Disheveled and corseted Lindsay Lohan at Nu Pop Movement Watch launch
For seemingly inexplicable reasons Lindsay Lohan continues to receive endorsement deals and invitations to major events and I assumed her appearance at the Nu Pop Movement Watch Launch in West Hollywood Thursday was yet another example of unnecessary event trashification by America’s most infamous hot mess.
Lindsay arrived at Kitson in black stretch pants, black high-heeled low-cut boots, an over-sized white t-shirt, some sort of toga scarf thing as a tail feather and an off-white padded corset. OK – Lindsay looked bad. Nothing new there. But why was this living Salvation Army mannequin at the Nu Pop Movement Watch Launch in the first place?
I was asking myself that question until I ran across a photo of Lindsay with what I’m guessing is one of the Nu Pop watches:
OHHHHHHH! If I were to try to imagine how Lindsay Lohan perceived time, it would look exactly like that! It’s like a Lindseality converter for normal people:
Stranger: “Excuse me. Do you have the time?”
You: “Sure, just let me check my watch. Ugh. I’m so confused. Where am I?!? Does my dad love me? I’m sad. I think I will call him.”
See? I might have to get me one those! It could be fun to black out for a few days and wake up on Samantha Ronson’s doorstep! I’d only want to do it once though – I couldn’t handle doing it twice a week for two years like Lindsay.
Seeing a watch that can help others understand what reality seems like to Lindsay Lohan is pretty neat, but I don’t think it’s really something LiLo would actually wear – I mean she already perceives time that way, right? So, I called the fine jewelry division of starcasm.net and put them to work coming up with a watch design that Lindsay could actually use. Here’s the beautiful timepiece they came up with:
Perfect! Lindsay, we have them for sale for a mere $35,750 – we accept paypal and embarrassing audio tapes of Michael Lohan. Hmmmm – this would also be a good watch for Merle Haggard. Merle, we’ll cut you a deal! $5 and dinner with Willie Nelson.
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