DLISTED – It seems the gossip about the age difference between Florence Pugh and Zach Braff — she’s 24; he’s 45 — has finally reached a boiling point for the Little Women star. Florence posted a whole video to Instagram responding to the constant (negative) comments she’s received in the year she and Zach have been dating, saying among other things “I am 24 years old. I do not need you to tell me who I should and should not love and I would never in my life tell anyone who they can and cannot love”
CELEBITCHY – The increasingly famous Dr. Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases (kinda feels like the order of those two should be flipped), thinks that when the world has coronavirus under control we should probably not go back to shaking hands “ever again.” I don’t know what’s more farfetched at this point: people agreeing to give up handshakes or the idea that we’ll ever have coronavirus locked down
VOX – Semi-good news: If you’ve been having especially weird and / or horrifying dreams while self-isolating, you’re not alone! According to a social psychologist and literal dream expert, stressful dreams are perfectly normal during times of high waking stress, and are supposed to be — believe it or not — helpful
THE BLEMISH – Either John Cusack is not a 5G conspiracy theorist and he tweeted out some bullshit before fully understanding what he was doing or Cusack *is* a 5G conspiracy theorist who shares control of his Twitter account with his PR people
LAINEY GOSSIP – I thought bras were already over for the duration of the quarantine and now the question was whether women would ever wear them again when we don’t need to quarantine anymore? (But, again, who can imagine such a thing?)
REALITY TEA – Joe Abruzzo, who dated Kathryn Dennis on Southern Charm for half a minute last year — i.e., the season nobody watched — is suing three cast members *and* Bravo for ten million dollars. Evidently, Abruzzo was defamed and suffered emotional distress when non-nude photos of himself that the cast discussed in one scene were blurred by SC’s editors so the cast’s comments about Abruzzo’s already-not-visible dick would seem more appropriate and insulting
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Teen Mom News Pile: Debra Danielsen (Oddly) Scolds Kail Lowry, David Eason Throws a Tantrum & More”
JEZEBEL – It will probably come as no surprise for you to learn that Simone Biles, Olympic athlete, gold medal winner and all-around world-class physical specimen, has a quarantine workout routine that just watching will probably make you cry
GO FUG YOURSELF – It seems that several popular British radio hosts are still going into their radio station offices for their radio presentation jobs instead of just doing them from home like every other presence-dependent celebrity with a smartphone
THE BLAST – Total Bellas star Nikki Bella is 23 weeks pregnant and looking as healthy as you’d want an expectant mother to be in the middle of a global pandemic
(Photo credit: Florence Pugh and Zach Braff via Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
