A woman named Cherries Waffles Tennis has been arrested for credit card fraud in Jupiter, Florida.
Yes, you read that sentence correctly.
Cherries Waffles Tennis made a series of purchases at surf shops around the Jupiter area on a credit card that was later declined. Among those were a $400 spear gun.
Just before that eyebrow raiser, Tennis–and her cohorts, the disappointingly-named Vincent Mitchell and Paul Miller–bought a $100 GoPro camera, and a $500 pair of RayBan sunglasses. Which doubtless sent Ron White into a tizzy.
Tennis raised the clerk’s suspicions, though, when she asked to punch in the credit card number instead of simply swiping it. The clerk declined the sale, and, when the youngsters had left the store, called the police.
Turns out the credit card was stolen. And udging by that mug shot, the $3,000 bail isn’t something Tennis is going to be able to put together anytime soon.
But, I mean, really. You’d think a person named Cherries Waffles Tennis would have something of a sunnier disposition. I understand that this is a mug shot she’s posing for, but it’s not like she was arrested for murder.
Then again, maybe this is a “Boy Named Sue”-type situation, and Ms. Waffles Tennis has been harassed and bullied her whole life because of her unusual name. In which case, I think I speak for all of us when I say I truly hope she finds, fights, and reconciles with her mother, California Raisin Scrambled Eggs Snowboarding Halfpipe.