We shared the sad news earlier this week that Love After Lockup Season 1 star Alla Subbotina passed away on August 7 at the age of 31. Alla’s on-screen love interest, James Cristia, has since expressed his grief over Alla’s tragic death with a couple of posts shared on Facebook.
James’ first post was made just before 5AM on Thursday, which was the day of Alla’s funeral and memorial service. Here is his post in its entirety:
I don’t know how to even process this. Alla, my best friend, my partner, my flame, my other half, my girlfriend, my lover, my support, my patience, my sun and my moon has passed away. I’m still processing this, I can’t believe you’re gone, this can’t actually be real. I made so many mistakes, not appreciating you enough is the biggest one that I have ever made.
Alla you taught me so much, more than anything you taught me what real love is. I’ve never had anyone love me like you did, your love went deeper and was truer than any feeling that I have ever known. I miss you so fu**ing much and I feel so fu**ing broken right now. I love you babe.
The post was flooded with sympathetic comments, including a message from James’ and Alla’s Season 1 co-star, Johnna DiGrigoli: “I’m so sorry James! 😢 Thinking of you!”
Alla’s mom also commented on James’ post:
James, thank sooo much for coming she really loves you ❤. It’s meant a lot to us.
And just remember, you Promised me to live, love and success.
Addiction is just 2 way only: getting sober or dead- nothing in between. Best wishes ❤
Just before midnight on Thursday, James returned to Facebook. “I keep thinking that this is just a bad dream and that I’m going to wake up and you’ll be there right next me,” he wrote. “It just doesn’t feel real.”
UPDATE – Another post from James on Instagram that included a photo of his Alla tattoo on his ring finger:
Love After Lockup viewers didn’t get to see much of Alla on screen, and what we did see was during a time when she was clearly struggling with her addiction. A friend of Alla’s family put together a beautiful slideshow gallery of photos of Alla that reveal a very different side of her — especially the ones with her mother and father and those of her when she was very young. Unfortunately, the video includes the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and cannot be embedded due to copyright issues. You can watch it at the link above.
Here is the message from the friend, followed by some of the photos from the slideshow:
What do you say to the parents who have to put their only child to rest tomorrow. I’m not going to say anything. Sometimes no words are necessary, our feelings carry so much more power. I did make them a little photo montage of some memories of their beautiful, radiant daughter. Her sweet soul shines through each photo and her imprints will live on in your hearts forever. Yelena Subbotin and Dmitriy Subbotin always carry on with strength knowing you made her proud that God chose you as hers.
Her parents did share Alla’s favorite poem was called Invictus by William Hernest Henley in which the last two lines read “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” So I hope those lines are indicative that Alla is in a much better place. And I hope you have a small glimpse of peace over her destiny. Until you guys meet again. 🖤
Here are some of Alla Subbotina’s modeling photos and an image from her mother’s Facebook:
Rest in peace Alla.
Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)yahoo.com