Florida woman discovers it’s unwise to use 911 for a booty call

58-year-old Maria Montenez-Colon was arrested Friday night in her hometown of Punta Gorda, Florida after she asked 911 dispatchers to send an officer that she found easy on the eyes back to her place for some “extra duty.”

The first time officer friendly came out to Maria’s home she told him that she wanted a Corvette she had signed over to her step-son back. While the cop was trying to parse out the information on that situation, the reportedly inebriated Floridian repeatedly made inappropriate passes.

Maria is alleged to have told the officer, “I haven’t been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.” When the cop tried to steer things back to the Corvette complaint and asked what he could do for her she responded by saying, “You can [expletive] me.”

While trying to seduce the man in uniform, Maria grabbed his arm and rubbed her hand on his chest. The officer kept his cool and left the premises after giving her a card with the department’s digits – telling her that she could call that line if she had any other non-emergency situations. He also reminded her that 911 was for emergencies only.

Maria was undeterred from her mission as she dialed up 911 again in less than an hour, informing the dispatcher that the officer who had been at her home “pissed her off.”

The original officer returned to her home along with a 2nd cop. Maria informed the latter that the former, “was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry.” The officer who first arrived asked Maria if she recalled their initial conversation about 911 being for emergencies only and she said, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?”

At this point the law had enough of Maria’s shenanigans and arrested her for Misuse of 911.

When asked by NBC2, neighbor Richard Landowski said, “She doesn’t need jail time, this is not a person that’s dangerous to anybody. She needs help.”

Records indicated that Maria had been booked into the Charlotte County Jail four times in 2013 for probation violations and battery charges.