CELEBITCHY – The FBI busted up a ring of wealthy people and college admissions officers and coaches who conspired to get the wealthy peoples’ kids into elite schools when their subpar grades weren’t enough. It’s more or less becoming known as the Felicity Huffman college cheating scandal because Huffman was arrested for faking her daughter’s SAT scores (her husband, William H. Macy, was not named in the FBI indictment)
JEZEBEL – But former Full House actress Lori Laughlin was also arrested after allegedly paying out around $500,000 in bribes so her Instagram influencer daughter Olivia Jade could get into USC under the guise of being on the crew team. I’m still not sure how you can fake being an athlete — especially when you have over a million Instagram followers who watch you not being an athlete — but it seems to have worked
THE BLAST – Huffman’s bond has been set at $250,000, or approximately seventeen times what she paid someone to retake the SAT for her daughter
VOX – In lighter news, the live-action Aladdin trailer is out, and honestly I’m way more interested in the racial and gender and business politics and behind-the-scenes-y stuff that went into making and marketing the trailer than I ever will be in watching the trailer. I still haven’t! It probably took me more time to write this than it would have to just watch. But Robin Williams is magic and this remake is unnecessary
LAINEY GOSSIP – “Game of Thrones Winning Odds: House Greyjoy”
REALITY TEA – To no one’s surprise, Brandi Glanville is just a teensy bit overjoyed that everyone on RHOBH is turning against Lisa Vanderpump this season
DLISTED – Conor McGregor is a reality TV star without a show
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “‘Counting On’ Season 9 Episode 4 Recap: A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Bake-Off”
THE BLEMISH – Finally, here’s a perfect headline: “A Billionaire Died Trying to Make his Dick Bigger”
(Photo credit: Felicity Huffman college cheating scandal via Jessica Sherman / London Ent / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
