LAINEY GOSSIP – Hailey and Justin Bieber’s wedding weekend was a montage of skin treatments and water sports at a posh South Carolina resort, one that the couple booked for a week before arriving to give the staff enough time to prepare for the deluge of celebrities. And the festivities actually culminated with a Monday wedding, which is somehow becoming the norm among big names?
THE BLAST – Here’s a ton more photos of the actual venue for Beiber’s wedding weekend, plus a few of the couple (who, let’s not forget, already got married at New York City Hall a year ago). Evidently the rehearsal dinner required boat valets, and afterward the wedding party watched The Notebook outdoors next to a lake
VOX – This is really rich
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – In light of Aaron Carter’s brand-new and not-great giant face tattoo of Rihanna, here’s a list of six reality stars with face tattoos, along with why each person got theirs. (Spoiler: Aaron’s is still by far the biggest and most garish of anyone on the list)
GO FUG YOURSELF – Helen Mirren is channeling Gwendoline Christie and Storm from X-Men with this floral blizzard dress from L’Oreal at Paris Fashion Week; unsurprisingly, it’s amazing
REALITY TEA – RHOD star LeeAnne Locken is not having any of D’Andra Simmons’ confessional tea spilling, since evidently D’Andra hasn’t had the real courage to accuse LeeAnne of anything to her face
DLISTED – A bus driver in Washington state has resigned after showing up to work drunk and telling the children on her school bus that her husband is a “son of a gun” and she herself is “totally crazy” — all this while driving the bus so crazily that the kids start to scream
JEZEBEL – “The air is crispy. Your haggard toes are ready to return to their foot coffins for the season. Somewhere in the distance, ghosts are gathering their tattered sheets and rattling chains, preparing for another month of scaring children and regular adults shitless. Fall is here — the best season — and it is time to clean.”
THE BLEMISH – McKayla Maroney, who took a break from social media for most of 2019, is now back on social media and talking about her fairly excruciating year
CELEBITCHY – I know Ken Jeong used to be a doctor before he somehow became a highly regarded comedic actor but I still feel like taking medical advice from guests on Ellen is maybe not the best course of action when one needs medical advice
(Photo credits: Bieber’s wedding weekend via Bauer-Griffin / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter @john_starcasm.