BEFORE THE 90 DAYS Ben apologizes to Kimberly for calling her a predator, KimBAAAAHly responds

Ben Rathbun and Kimberly Menzies Before the 90 Days Couples Tell All predator comment

90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days star Benjamin Rathbun did not win over many viewers as he aggressively pursued his 22-year-old Peruvian girlfriend Mahogany Roca this season.

The 52-year-old former pastor (and now former executive director of the Michigan Lupus Foundation) had a chance to redeem himself during the Couples Tell All special, but he somehow managed to make things worse by calling his co-star, Kimberly Menzies, a predator!

In his Tell All intro, Ben explains that he is nervous about the special, partly because he isn’t sure if Mahogany will show up. “I can take the bullets,” Ben boasts, “I just don’t know if she can. I don’t know if she’s ready to.”

As far as the rest of the cast, Ben talks a bit about the apparent shortcomings of his male co-stars. “A lot of the guys are not standing up to their women, and they’re allowing them to cross their personal boundaries of human dignity,” Ben says in his confessional interview. “I just want to know if they’re, like, willing to stand up for themselves. It’s gonna be interesting.”

Ben arrives at the Tell All green room, where Kimberly, Gino and Mike are already waiting.

What did Ben say to Kimberly at the Tell All?

As soon as Kimberly sees Ben, she is a bit smitten by his good looks. “I love my man, but you’re gorgeous!” she tells Ben while laughing. However, Kimberly is about to find Ben much, much less attractive!

Ella arrives and the topic of what everyone expects to be criticized for comes up. “For me,” Kimberly begins, “there’s a lot of judgment for going over there and following my heart, which is crazy to me because that’s what I should have done. You know?”

Ben sees an opening to offer up his opinion on Kimberly. “You seemed to come on pretty strong, from what I saw.”

“I went for what I wanted,” Kimberly asserts.

Ben puts on his pastor face and begins to preach. “Well, like, OK, guys are — I’m going to stereotype now, so I’m gonna get in trouble.”

“OK,” Kimberly says.

“We, as men, are predators,” Ben explains. “We are lions looking for gazelles. And you’re kinda hoping that it’s a bit of a race, you know? You don’t want it to just, like, lay down and, like, ‘That wasn’t fun.’ So, like, if a gazelle ever attacked me, I wouldn’t know what to do. I mean, to me, it’s just a turn off. But, if Usman likes that sort of thing, all the power to him. But he seemed like he didn’t.”

Deep Thoughts with Ben Rathbun Men are predators, women are gazelles quote

Ben’s sermon must have set off cringe alarms in the production room because a producer immediately comes in and calls him away to do an interview.

Kimberly shares her thoughts on Ben’s wisdom with her remaining co-stars.

“Sorry guys, I lost my respect for him when he called me a predator,” she says. “I did not like that. Everybody’s only seeing a part of me, you know what I’m saying? And I don’t feel like I was a predator. I feel like I’m 51 years old, I went for what I wanted. That’s how I feel. And if it came across that I’m a f***ing predator, get the f*** out of here! You shouldn’t even have said that to me. It was an insult to me as a woman.”

Ben apologizes to Kimberly for predator comment

After Part One of the Tell All aired, Ben took to Instagram to post a public apology to Kimberly:

@itskimberly9O, we talked privately — but I would also like to publicly apologize for my comments to you on Sunday’s reunion. They were patronizing, misogynistic and hurtful. You have shown me true kindness and grace, and I appreciate your support as I try to process all the feedback I have received from being on the show.

I have a lot of listening, self-reflecting, processing and changing that I need to do — and likely many more apologies to make — but I wanted to start with you. Kimberly, I value and respect your friendship, and appreciate your forgiveness.

#9ODayFiance #TakingAccountibility #Beforethe9Odays’#Friendship #forgiveness

Kimberly re-posted Ben’s apology in her own Instagram stories and added her response: “Thank you @BenRathbun27 🙏🏽 Like I told you privately, I accept your apology. There’s no ill will here and Usman and I are here if you need us!”

90 Day Fiance Before the 90 Days Kimberly Menzies Ben Rathbun apology response

To find out if Ben continues to put his foot in his mouth when he is asked questions during the actual Tell All (with Mahogany present via live feed), be sure to tune in for Part Two of the 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days Couples Tell All airing this Sunday night at 8/7c on TLC! Or, stream the episode a little early on Discovery+!

Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)

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