Heidi Montag’s mom Darlene Egelhoff is now a maid after losing restaurant The Timberline

Heidi Montag is hiding out with her pseudo-ex husband Spencer Pratt contemplating their latest master plan to somehow rip the headlines out of Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton’s cocaine-stained hands. It’s basically a pipe dream at this point.

Meanwhile, back in postcard-perfect Crested Butte, her mom and step-dad Darlene and Tim Egelhoff have lost their 21-year-old restaurant The Timberlane and are looking for jobs (Darlene is currently cleaning houses). Things are not turning out very well for the post-Hills Montags, Pratts, and Egelhoffs.

Darlene, who is still estranged from her daughter Heidi, wrote on her blog about the restaurant’s failure. The Timberline was founded in 1989 when Heidi’s step-dad Tim bought equipment from a defunct California restaurant and opened up a fine dining restaurant in a hundred-year-old mining shack.

She explains why they’re having to shut their doors in October:

Our family business, The Timberline Restaurant is being required to close October first due to a dramatic decrease in business over the last few years.  We have no one to blame but ourselves and our own inability to make all the necessary adjustments in time.

While detailing the history of The Timberlane, Darlene also gives us some insight into the shaping of Heidi’s psyche. Because The Timberlane was a high-priced restaurant in a Colorado vacation town, it attracted a lot of bejeweled fancy ladies visiting from the big city. Heidi liked to work at the restaurant just to ogle their baubles and purses, which served a dual purpose of flattering the guests and guiding Heidi’s mission in life:

“Heidi loved working at the Timberline.  She loved getting dressed up and socializing with adults. Particularly well dressed, diamond laden, Gucci carrying women from Texas and Oklahoma. “WHEEEEEEERE did you get that?!?!?!?” She would demand delighting and distracting them from being irritated that their table wasn’t ready. She had innate social grace that would have everyone eating out of the palm of her hand.”

There’s also a lot more about Heidi on Darlene’s long-winded but well-written blog, which delves into her relationships with her children, a past eating disorder, and insomnia at the thought of losing both a daughter and what she thought was a life-long family business.  Maybe she should slap a few ads on their and work her way towards a book-deal.

Darlene’s daughter Heidi is now reporting that she too has fallen on hard times and is now broke and homeless with her fame partner Spencer Pratt.