Teen mom battling rapist in court over visitation request

Sep, 26, 2012 | AUTHOR: Darren O; | Related : News

I’ve learned in this line of work that true life is stranger than fiction and that the law is stranger than just about everything.

A teenage mother from Massachusetts is in a legal fight with the man who confessed to raping her over visitation rights of the child that was conceived during the horrible crime. The mother in question was raped at the age of 14 by a 20-year-old man she knew from her church.

When the mother of the victim found out, she informed the authorities. The girl, who was barely a teenager at the time, decided to keep the baby. She told FOX Boston:

“He threatened me. He told me that he could make my life upside down, and I wouldn’t have anybody and he would pin it all on me. So I was scared. Being Christian, the way I looked at it, the way I thought of it, this is a baby, an innocent person that didn’t do anything wrong. Like, why should I take away that life?”

The man in question (names of either are not provided out of respect to the victim) was charged with 4 counts of statutory rape in 2009 and plead guilty last year to all. So how in hell does this person have any right to continue to haunt this family and this young mother by having the gall to request visitation!?! It turns out that it’s all about loop-holes in the law.

The prosecutor had asked for a 3-5 year prison sentence but the judge sentenced him to 16 years of probation as long as he acknowledged he’s the father of the baby and abided by the rules of the court. The probate court in question ordered him to pay child support. It was this requirement that opened the door legally for this man to request visitation rights.

The victim’s family believe this request is only happening because it’s now time for this man to pay up:

“He hasn’t cared up until now. Why should he now? She’s three. She doesn’t know who he is.”

The rapist’s attorney wouldn’t comment about the request for visitation but did state that the relationship was consensual while admitting it was inappropriate given that the girl was only 14 (no crap Mr. lawyer). The attorney representing the victim’s family, Wendy Murphy, is looking to have the sentencing changed.

“The consequences of sentencing this man to probation for 16 years, which is really until the child becomes an adult, and making him declare paternity and pay child support, includes that this guy gets a legal father-child relationship out of the deal.”

In addition to changing the sentencing Murphy is also requesting that the criminal be ordered to stay away from the child and mother.

“All this family wants is to cut the cord. Get the rapist out of their lives. And if the judge wants to help them financially that’s great. But let’s call it restitution, not child support.”

It turns out that this legal issue has been addressed in other states with 9 allowing or requiring the termination of parental rights and 7 allowing or requiring the stripping of custody or visitation rights.

Murphy summed up her (and my) feelings about the situation at hand this way:

“This was a young girl. Way, way beneath the age of consent. If the judge thinks this isn’t as serious as a stranger rape, and if this is a judge saying to himself, ‘I wouldn’t have done this if it had been a stranger in a dark alley,’ then that’s a judge that maybe shouldn’t be sitting on criminal cases because we got over that distinction I think 30 years ago. What kind of legal system commands a toddler into a relationship with the man who raped her mother?”

Not looking at it through the insane goggles of justice, could you imagine if this man is granted visitation? If I were the parents of this young girl who was violated, yet brave enough to stand by her conviction to have her baby, I believe I’d have to break the law that had so egregiously failed my family to protect her and my grandchild.

The District Attorney is on board for a change in the law in the state to protect women who choose to have a baby conceived during the act of rape. This is a precedent setting case and the state needs to get this right. And what’s “right” for this case from my vantage? This little 3-year-old girl should never, ever have to see the face of the criminal that violated her mother.

spacer

You also might like

No items

Aina

That is absolutely disgusting. That man should have gotten jail time, been forced to pay child support, AND been denied any access to the child. There’s something wrong with the law here.
ambleg

This is so incredibly disgusting I have no words. That poor girl and her family! She is a brave young woman though! And 16 years probation for rape?? Since when does that happen?
- Nathan
  
  Brave young woman? It was consensual. And, 16 years probation does not seem that outrageous of a punishment for a guy who had consensual sex with a girl who was only 6 years younger than him.
  - Mazda023
    
    ONLY 6 years younger? Are you stupid? SHE WAS 14! It would be a different story if she was 20 and the guy was 26. Age makes a difference!!! It wouldn’t suprise me if she was pressured into having sex at 14 by this 20 year old. He may have thought it was consentual, but because of her age it’s rape. If the 20 year old really wanted to have sex that bad he should have found someone his own age, not prey on someone who is barely a teenager!!!
  - L
    
    Do you have a mental disorder? Or are you just a sick pervert yourself? A 14 year old child cannot consent to sex with an adult, whether or not you believe they can or not. “Only 6 years younger than him” THE GIRL WAS 14 YEARS OLD. And she said quite plainly that he threatened her. In what realm of reality does that constitute consensual to you?
Mia

It’s hard for me to relate to what I’d do because if when I was 14 some 20 year old guy that I went to church with raped me and got me pregnant, my dad would have shot and killed the guy way before he ever saw his day in court.

This is disturbing. I’m assuming this guy has to register as a sex offender, and he shouldn’t be allowed to live near a school or playground for the rest of his life. So, in turn, why is it even a question on if he should be allowed to see the child? Especially considering she’s already 3. Even if it wasn’t me, if this guy was allowed to even look at a young girl after having sex with a minor I’d be pissed. It’s not like she’d be allowed to have friends over and they won’t be allowed to go anywhere like a park or playground together. It would do nothing but harm the child emotionally, mentally, and physically. It will be hard enough if she learns she was conceived during a rape and then you want her rapist sperm doner being able to influence her behavior and though process? No way.
jr

what i think everyone is missing here is that he was charged with “statutory rape” which means he did not force her to have sex with him, mearly that she had sex with him while she was underage. with that said, he is still disgusting, still vulgar and i don’t believe he should be able to see the child if he can take advantage of a 14 yr old child in such a way.
- http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa
  
  What, so threats don’t count?
- Mia
  
  What I think YOU’RE missing is the fact that statutory rape is still considered rape for a reason. If both sides ended up okay in most situations then they wouldn’t wast time putting people in jail for it. At 14 years old I didn’t even understand the full process of what goes into how a child is formed or how sex worked. I mean, I obviously understood what sex *was*, but I didn’t know all the consequences of how easy it is to get an STD or, relating to this case, how a baby is made. I didn’t know about the different forms of protection. At 20 years old I was fully aware of what went into sex, how it worked, what the consequences were, etc. 14 is a child. That’s barely a teenager. Would it be okay if an 8th grader was having sex with a junior in college? Because that is exactly what this is. 6 years is a BIG age difference when the girl is that young.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1029554699 Alyssa Downing
  
  You remind me of the idiot who created the uproar over “legitimate rape”
Rachel

Statutory rape? Interesting. She had consensual sex with this guy and yes I am not excusing it because of his age but I think some people are acting like he threw her down and forcibly raped her. Yes it is horrible he took advantage of this young girl and yes he should probably stay away from both mother and child but I’m not going to crucify him for a choice they BOTH made.
- http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa
  
  As a 14 year old you CANNOT give consent to have sex with someone more than 5 years older than you are. RAPE IS RAPE.
- D
  
  As a woman you should understand what it’s like to be a young teenager. You can’t even drive at that age. You’re not even in high school. If the threat parts aren’t true (which I think they are but okay.. say they aren’t) then the guy probably manipulated her into it. It’s still wrong. I know they’re only 6 years apart, but an 18 year old boy is 6 years older than a 12 year old girl. Is that okay? A freshman in college having sex with a 6th grader… in some places a 6th grader is still considered to be in elementary school… When they’re young, those years mean a lot more than when both people are adults.
  - D
    
    That first part I was referring to the impressionability of a young teen girl. The desire to have people like you. Etc.
- L
  
  Did you miss the part where she said he threatened her and that she was scared? It is not a CHOICE that a child can make because they don’t know what they’re doing! It’s like saying a toddler made a CHOICE to get burned when they put their hand on the stove…no. They thought it would be fun and in the end, realized it was a terrible idea. Just because someone her age is physically capable of submitting to an older and probably very manipulative rapist does not mean that you can act like she made the “CHOICE” to have sex with him.
Nathan

The guy did not “rape” her. It was consensual. Yes, it was illegal but calling him a “rapist” is misleading as it implies forcible rape. Also, I’m not trying to condone statutory rape, but, let’s look at the age gap here – 6 years. In most states it is perfectly legal for a 60 year old man to impregnate a 16 year old girl, which seems a lot more creepy to me.

And, why shouldn’t he be allowed to see his own child? Regardless of the mother’s age when the child was conceived, it is still his child. And, if he is paying to support this child it is ridiculous for him not to be able to see her.
- http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa
  
  Rape is rape is RAPE. Statutory or Forcible. Just because the courts labeled it as statutory does NOT mean it was consensual, did you not read? She said she was SCARED and he threatened her.
  - tiff
    
    you don’t have to post the same comment multiple times, WE GET IT. obviously you’re not going to change their opinion, they won’t change yours.
    - jo
      
      totally agree, this Maiko Higa is certainly annoying..as for statutory rape cases..well you have to have all the facts because these cases are complex..
- aina
  
  It is was forcible rape-because of her age, she was not able to consent in any way, shape, or form. A child that young is conditioned to obey adults. He used his age to coerce someone who is not capable of making adult decisions into an adult act. Is 6 years a big age gap in relationships-no….but ONLY when both parties are old enough to agree to the act and realize the consequences. He should be a registered pedophile because he had sex with a child, whether or not she said ‘yes’ (and again, the law says that a child cannot say yes here). And as a registered pedophile, he shouldn’t be able to have contact with any kids, even ones he fathered. That’s continual harm to both the baby and his victim
  - ashley
    
    A 14 year old is hardly a “child” as we think of young children running around a playground. A 14 year old is a teenager who most definitely CAN consent to having sex with an older man. I’m sure kids these days are having sex much younger than 14, so to act like a 14 year old is so helpless and vulnerable is ignorant. Maybe when her parents found out she was pregnant she said he raped her because she didn’t want to get in trouble for being sexually active.
    - Aina
      
      Let’s get this straight-the age of consent in Massachusetts is 16. THERE IS NO STATE IN THE US THAT PLACES THE AGE OF CONSENT LOWER THAN 16. Therefore this girl definitely CANNOT consent to sex until the age of 18, making her partner a rapist. I don’t give a damn if she said yes, the law states that she is not capable of making that decision, and anyone over the age of 18 who takes advantage of a child (who is a child by every law we have, and I don’t care if you only think of a child as a five year old just learning his ABCs, this girl was a child) is a rapist. He used his age, experience, and standing to influence her into a decision that she couldn’t fully comprehend. Are 14 year olds these days sexually active? Sure, some are. If this guy had been 1 day shy of his 18th birthday, I wouldn’t be so upset. But a grown man taking advantage of a child is disgusting and I’d be happiest if he was castrated and kept away from this girl and her baby for the rest of eternity.
      - ashley
        
        “He used his age, experience, and standing to influence her into a decision that she couldn’t fully comprehend.” You must have been there! So glad you clarified it for me. A 14 year old clearly cannot fully comprehend sex….ha! You must be old school, this is 2012.
        
        D
        
        Surely you know that young teenagers do not fully comprehend sex. Sure, they may know how to physically have sex, but that in know way means they fully understand sex and its consequences, both psychological, emotional, and physical.
        
        Aina
        
        Amen @9fded626b50947dd6d37b3afd56271d5:disqus. @fbf13a4ac58a7bae01a0fb327c5754b0:disqus if the fact that I think 14 year olds shouldn’t be having sex at all makes me old school, I’m totally fine with that. Do I think that many do? Of course. I think 16 & Pregnant supports my opinion that someone under the age of consent is not fully capable of understanding the consequences of their actions. But believing an adult shouldn’t have sex with a minor isn’t old school, it’s common sense, and anyone who believes otherwise is as disgusting as this guy who RAPED (by law) a CHILD (also by law)
        
        ashley
        
        I agree with you! I meant old school in the sense that it’s naive to think teenagers and even younger don’t know about sex in general. But, as D pointed out and I agree with, the emotional aspects (and possibly physical) of sex most definitely are not fully comprehensible by a 14 year old. Every person, child, teenager, adult situation is different. I was speaking more so from personal experience when I was around 14, a freshman in high school, and definitely knew of girls having sex with older guys (probably 18/19) who I knew they understood what they were doing.
        
        ashley
        
        You’re right, I agree they most definitely don’t comprehend the emotional aspect and/or how to deal with the emotions that come with having sex either before or after. I was just speaking in a general sense regarding their comprehension of sex in general.
    - D
      
      A 14 year old girl is impressionable. You’re at a very vulnerable spot at that age. You just want everyone to like you and you feel very self conscious about yourself and who you are. A 20 year old man can take advantage of that and manipulate her into having sex. I’ve been taken advantage of in a similar manner before. It makes me sick to think about it now. I did things that I was in no way comfortable doing, but I wanted to be liked and feel significant, and an older man used that against me to manipulate me into doing things I would have balked at normally. Just because you do it without putting up a fight doesn’t make it right. You can still be manipulated at 14, even by someone who is “only” 6 years older.
    - Mazda023
      
      Not every girl who gets pregnant pulls out the ‘rape card’. If my daughter was 14 and pregnant by a 20 year old man you better bet I would inform the police! IT’S ILLEGAL! I wouldn’t care what my 14 year old was begging me not to tell, I still would. Good God I hope you don’t have children, and if you do I hope you are never face with a situation like this young girl was.
    - L
      
      A 14 year old is DEFINITELY a child in every sense of the word. They think they’re not a child, but do you see them doing adult things like working a job, driving a car, going to the grocery store to buy their own food? No. Why? Because they are a child and are still under their parents’ care and supervision. The fact that you are so deluded in your mind that you think of a 14 year old as anything near the maturity level of an adult is scary. Really, you should consider therapy.
- http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1029554699 Alyssa Downing
  
  You’re an idiot
http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa

The comments on this page are sick. Rape is rape is rape! This whole case is sick, but the fact that people are on the rapists side is worse. He took advantage of a really young girl, just barely a teenager. Just because someone interprets statutory as “consensual” because that is what the guy PLED to in a plea bargain does NOT MEAN THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED. It is still RAPE. “Forcible” or not.
- http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa
  
  As a 14 year old you CANNOT give consent to have sex with someone more than 5 years older than you are. RAPE IS RAPE!!!!!!
  - ashley
    
    A 14 year old surely CAN give consent…it may be called “rape” by the legal system, but a 14 year old (especially these days) can definitely consent to sex with an older man.
    - L
      
      You idiot. Whether she says “yes” or not is IRRELEVANT. She cannot consent to sex with an adult because she is still a CHILD, and therefore legally cannot consent. CHILDREN of 14 years of age say yes because of peer pressure and all other sorts of things, that doesn’t give 20 year old men the right to rape them. Perhaps the laws against statutory rape don’t make sense to people like you. And that is not even the case in this situation! This was REGULAR rape, where he threatened and forced the girl to have sex with him. What is wrong with you? You people make me sick.
      - jo
        
        euh calm down,we don’t know the entire facts, statutory rape cases are complex, after that if the guy really threatened her for the act in this case it is really rape and a crime. She said she was threatened but was it about the ‘rape’ act of sex or about the fact that she kept the baby, it is not clear in the article that’s all.
http://www.facebook.com/maiko.higa.33 Maiko Higa

As a 14 year old you CANNOT give consent to have sex with someone more than 5 years older than you are. RAPE IS RAPE!!!
Areyouserious

I see a rapist differently than a statutory rapist. Both are wrong but the statutory rape case I feel he still should have parental rights. However if it were forceful/violent rape definitley not.
- L
  
  Is this a joke? Did you read what the girl wrote about him? That he threatened her? Yet you think it’s okay for a person like that to be around a young child when they have already shown that they are capable of raping a child in the first place. Disgusting.
Katie

To the people defending this guy… Have you ever seen ‘To Catch a Predator’? They use 14 year old decoys all the time. Why? Because they are posing as CHILDREN. These PREDATORS are some of the biggest manipulators out there.
me

she said that she was scared and he threatened her!! yep that sounds totally consensual, huh? idiots…
Anonymous

If he would rape a 14 yr old girl. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do the same to his daughter. If they give him rights they are putting this child in danger of going through the same thing her mother went through!
Kay Kay

You can’t rape the willing. If this was consensual sex then the dad has rights to his child if it was forced rape then he shouldn’t.
Take Our Country Back

I was 13 (I am now 51) when I attended an away Church softball game. Preacher’s 21 year old son offered to show me where the restroom was in the Church, he had keys to let anyone in who needed to use restroom and in case of emergency (access to phone). He told me that they were in downstairs and ended up raping me in the nursery. He made horrible threats to me and my family and my future and being the good little Christian girl that I was, I got up, threw up, cleaned up and went outside to sit in the van until the game was over and all of us rode back to Manassas to our Church. All the while he was leering at me in the rear view mirror. I was terrified but I kept the secret, I thought I would shame the family if I told anyone when it happened, I told my mother when I was in my 30′s, People can project, predict, blame and certainly claim that they would have acted differently but until you are in a situation, don’t pretend to know how you would react. I learned years later that he was in prison for rape and murder, that he had been doing this for years and years. So now those of us who didn’t speak up get to live with the “what ifs”. Please don’t judge people.
Sam

Im sorry but this is really unrealistic. Teens are having sex. Honestly at 14 I had already had sex and I dated a 19 year old. We were together 4 years, I gratuated early woth a 4.0 and a full college scholarship at 16 and I didn’t get pregnant. Teens shouldn’t have sex but they will and mostly they play dumb to avoid trouble afterwards. Stop treating it like teens don’t know what they’re doing because they know. They are just stupid. If she wanted to have sex with him and wants him to pay child support he hets to see this child..
just saying

No one here is considering what is best for the child… children have to cope with toxic relationships between parents all the time. The child should have contact with the father… maybe supervised to start with but it is punishing the child to withhold the father/child relationship
- Brem
  
  Punishing the child? What are you on?
  
  How is sending a child to live with a sick, perverted, manipulative parent who won’t be allowed to have other children over or live near schools NOT a punishment? That IS a punishment if I ever did hear one. It’s terrifying that you think this way. Either your a rapist/sick pervert OR you’re an idiot (who would probably send their own children to live with a rapist if the rapist were related by blood).
  - Brem
    
    you’re*
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1029554699 Alyssa Downing

He’s a sex offender, he shouldn’t be allowed near any child.

The 20 year old preyed on a 14 year old….in his thick skull he thought it was okay to have sex with a child…therefore he should be labeled a sex offender.
Bre

I had a friend that this pretty exact thing happened to. Her parents told her abortion or adoption BECAUSE they didn’t want it to haunt her forever. She chose adoption and her step sister adopted her kid. I know that’s not always an option but it’s what I would tell my fourteen year old, after the man…disappeared.