The Teen Mom OG Drinking Game

As most of our readers are probably aware, the Original Girls of Teen Mom return tonight at 10/9c for the premiere of Teen Mom OG on MTV, and in honor of the new season we thought we would put together a little something to help make watching the new season even more fun: The Teen Mom OG Drinking Game!

The rules are fairly simple. First, have a drink ready. It can be Kool-Aid, apple juice, water, Gatorade, red wine, whatever. We recommend trying to maintain a full glass throughout the episode.

Now, each time any of the things on the list below occurs, imbibe the appropriate amount of liquid. Pretty simple huh?

We’ve broken down the list based on what we think the chances of the event in question occurring, with the amount of liquid to be consumed being relative to how likely something is to actually happen. The more unlikely the event, the more liquid is to be consumed. So, if you’re drinking red wine and Gary Shirley hugs Amber after playing her a song on his guitar while wearing his Belden Linemen Camp shirt, you might want to call off work Tuesday.

UPDATE – After watching the premiere and nearly drowning, I think it’s best if we eliminate “flashback” footage from previous seasons (unless otherwise noted below).

TAKE A SIP

Farrah’s cry face

Gary Shirley wearing an Affliction shirt

Bentley, Leah or Sophia playing sports or music

Cast member quotes an internet commenter

Cast member enrolls in a college course

Tyler, Gary, Ryan, Matt, or Taylor at work (Getting ready for work and going to work don’t count)

Amber yells at Gary

Manicure and/or pedicure scene at a salon/spa

Someone says “I’m done!”

MTV shows somebody’s mug shot photo

Cast member mentions her book(s)

Scene in a lawyer’s office

Farrah in lingerie

Any mention of Farrah’s sex tape

Someone gets a new pet

Cast member signs an autograph

Ryan on a motorcycle

Gary Shirley wears a New York Yankees hat

A cast member (including grandparents, children, etc) has feathers in her/his hair

Farrah’s body part(s) has to be blurred out (Might have to double sip if she’s wearing lingerie at the time)

Someone says “OG”

Ryan yawns

TAKE A BIG GULP

Bentley, Leah, Sophia, Carly or Novalee in a costume

Any serious discussion at the Edwards’ (Ryan’s parents’) kitchen table

Bentley driving anything with wheels (bike, go-cart, tractor, stagecoach…)

Either Gary, Tyler, Ryan, Taylor or Matt shirtless

Maci goes on Spring Break (once per spring)

Somebody gets a tattoo

Bentley, Leah or Sophia says a curse word that has to be bleeped

Camera crew breaks up a fight

Twerking

Maci says “ginger”

Birth flashback footage

Either Maci, Amber, Farrah or Catelynn dancing

Either Tyler, Gary, Ryan, Matt, or Taylor dancing

April Baltierra laughing

TAKE A BIG GULP (CONTINUED)

Appearance of Butch Baltierra (counts as multiple appearances in the same episode if his clothing changes. Must be video and not just a photo. Flashbacks count.)

Ultrasound scene or sonogram photo

Any mention of Dalis

Catelynn, Maci, Farrah or Amber at work (Getting ready for work and going to work don’t count)

Tyler cries

Amber hugs her mom

Someone says “It’s Gary Time”

Farrah hugs Michael

Footage shown from Couples Therapy

Someone takes a pregnancy test

Someone tries on a wedding dress

Putt putt golf scene

Someone says “Backdoor Teen Mom”

Appearance of a sex toy (censored or not)

DOWN THE WHOLE GLASS/BOTTLE

An appearance of a Belden Lineman Camp shirt (Whether worn by Gary, a friend, framed on the wall, whatever)

Farrah Abraham calls Mike “dad”

Taylor McKinney shaves his face completely

Someone gets arrested (actual footage of the arrest)

Marriage proposal (actual footage of the proposal)

Wedding (actual footage from the ceremony)

Gary plays guitar and sings

Either Tyler, Ryan, Gary, Taylor or Matt wears a dress

Amber hugs Gary

Someone mentions Jenelle Evans

Farrah hugs Debra

(Have any more suggestions? We’ll be live tweeting Teen Mom OG episodes throughout the season so send us a tweet @starcasm!)

UPDATE – It seems I didn’t really take into account all of the flashback footage — perhaps I should have eliminated that as ineligible. (I will add that in at the top now.) Anyways, if you were actually playing along with booze then you are probably recovering from alcohol poisoning right now. If you were playing with Coca Cola, then you may be experiencing some serious insulin issues. Also, I saw over on the Teen Mom Junkies episode recap that someone suggested adding Ryan yawning, which I thought was brilliant, so I added that. Another commenter said she would be playing along but might substitute drinking for working out. Brilliant!