SISTER WIVES Kody is manipulating Janelle to get her to leave him

Sister Wives‘s Janelle Brown was fairly happy with her setup in the polygamous Brown family for years. Although Kody was never much of a romantic partner for her, she considered him her best friend and a good father. As part of the bargain she also got a sense of independence that many women in traditional religious marriages don’t get. Her independent nature has been an inspiration for the Brown children, and her work ethic and belief in sacrificing for the sake of the larger family has helped the family stay afloat through a lot of times of chaos and instability. Now, Kody is flipping the script on her and trying every trick in the book to get Janelle to leave without directly asking her to leave after draining her financial resources.

Kody Brown is very unconfident, especially in the past few years, but the only thing he has remained constant on is his refusal to leave any of his four wives even when he is completely done with him. This belief possibly comes from his religion, but may also be rooted in his sense of pride. Whatever is driving him to refuse to leave, however, is a strong force in his life and drives him to pull out all stops of manipulative behavior to get three of his wives to leave of their own accord.

Meri was the first wife he basically asked to leave. She still refuses to leave the celestial marriage despite the fact that he’s said that he doesn’t consider himself married to her and wouldn’t care if she married someone else. He has told Meri that he doesn’t plan to be in any kind of relationship with her, and many other cold and hurtful things. One thing he hasn’t told her is that he considers them divorced. So, she remains.

Christine has felt that she’s been in a loveless marriage for years, and in fact Kody was turned off by her from the start. While he may have had moments of attraction towards her, he has always made it clear that he bases his affection for her on how he perceives she treats others. Since she hasn’t gotten along with his favorite wife Robyn from the start, Kody has viewed her in an unfavorable light ever since then.

His aloof and unkind behavior towards Christine escalated in Las Vegas, but truly took off when the family moved to Flagstaff and COVID-19 hit. She knew for sure she could live without Kody when she took their daughter Ysabel to New Jersey by herself for life-altering spine surgery. Kody’s absence broke Ysabel’s heart, but it taught Christine that she truly could do anything by herself.

Still, instead of divorcing her, Kody lived in a loveless relationship with her for years until she had finally had enough.

Kody and Janelle have had a different relationship in that Janelle has felt fairly satisfied with it for most of their marriage. Kody has also often showed a great deal of respect for Janelle, but that has all changed lately.

The rift between Kody and Janelle broke into a huge crack in Season 16 when he pretty much asked her to chose between himself and her sons Garrison and Gabe. Both boys not only did not quit their jobs and break up with girlfriends in order to satisfy Kody’s strict COVID protocols, they also questioned his preference for Robyn over their mom Janelle.

In the latest episode of Season 17, Kody sits down with Janelle for a meal and proceeds to make demands that will probably drive Janelle for good. He continues to use their sons against her. He asks Janelle to get them to apologize to Robyn for blaming her for the chaos in the family.

In confessional, Kody accuses some of his children of being jealous of Robyn when she came into the family. Robyn says in her confessional that she doesn’t want the boys to apologize to her, she just wants to clear the air with them.

During the conversation, Kody compares Janelle to Robyn by telling Janelle that Robyn is loyal to him, and Janelle needs to be loyal to him in order to get a relationship with him like the one he has with Robyn.

This makes Janelle voice in confessional that she feels frustrated by the comparison to Robyn and the narrative that Robyn has been victimized since she joined the Brown family despite being completely open.

“I don’t perceive it that way. I perceive that we were a plural family trying to figure it out,” Janelle says. “And she always kept herself a little separate.”

Meanwhile, Robyn says that she has always “wanted desperately” to be a part of this family. It’s also relevant that Robyn explained that Christine’s leaving was so hard for her because it destroyed a dream of what she wanted for the family, which does put herself squarely in a victimized role in the situation.

It seems that although Robyn has always claimed she wanted to be close to everyone in the family, actually being close has been a struggle and the others have not found her to be as open to close friendships as she says she is.

Kody then leans in aggressively to Janelle and tells her that they have not behaved like a married couple for most of their marriage. This shocks Janelle because she has always believed she was living in a totally different reality from the one Kody is painting for her in that moment.

He then complains that Janelle “lives a single woman,” and he doesn’t know why it used to be okay with him and isn’t now. Kody also thinks that Janelle has “misinterpreted” their entire marriage and he finds that she is “aloof” rather than independent.

In confessionally Kody says that the problem is with Janelle’s loyalty and respect for him. He then tells her that he doesn’t think that maybe “this isn’t a good fit. Maybe this doesn’t work.” This heavily implies that he wants to break up with her, but then Kody says in confessional that he doesn’t know why Janelle thought he was trying to break up with him. He also tells her that his emotional “ship is sinking.”

Janelle tells Kody that she feels like the rules are changing for her. In confessional she elaborates that she’s questioning if they can ever come back from this or if they are compatible.

Kody puts himself in the victim role here by saying Janelle has broken his heart by not being there for him during his divorce, but instead being there for his ex-wife.

Kody is behaving in a similar way with Janelle that he has with Meri and Christine. He is almost straight up telling Janelle that he wants to leave without telling her that. Instead, he’s making the situation so untenable for her that she cannot stand not to go. He creates situations for women where they have to ultimately choose between him or their own self-worth and sanity.

Part of why Kody doesn’t feel Janelle is loyal to him is the fact that she has grown closer with Christine after Christine’s divorce from him. He sees this as betrayal and can’t understand why Janelle is close with his “ex” and not close with Robyn. Janelle explained that she has lived with Christine for years and raised kids with her. She has never even had much of a chance to get close to Robyn, and there are probably other personality reasons why they just haven’t clicked. Not everyone is compatible for friendship.

Kody is also angry with Janelle for buying a fifth wheel trailer and a truck in an attempt to help speed up Coyote Pass. Although Janelle says that they discussed this purchase, Kody now sees her as acting completely behind his back and is using this for evidence that she is not an obedient wife.

Suddenly asking Janelle to “submit to patriarchy” and be obedient and blindly loyal after three decades appears to be too much for her. Much of the way Janelle has been talking in her confessional interviews this season seem to hint that she has already left, or is in the process of leaving Kody, but she refrains from outright saying that she is leaving. Instead, producers to be drawing out her departure so it can get it’s own season.

Janelle is also in a worse financial situation than Christine was when she decided to leave. Janelle has poured so much of her money into Robyn’s house, and currently doesn’t have a house of her own to sell or draw equity from. She also owns a part of Coyote Pass. Maybe Janelle is waiting to get all of her affairs in order before she makes an official departure from the Brown family.