Shannon Purser, who played Barb on ‘Stranger Things,’ opens up about depression and OCD

In a beautifully written piece for Teen Vogue, Shannon Purser, the actress who portrayed the beloved but ill-fated Barb on Stranger Things, describes her personal experience with depression and OCD. “Why did I feel this way? . . .There was no logical reason for me to feel so worthless. But I did,” she writes in the essay.

One of the ways Purser’s OCD manifests is in compulsive thoughts to reread something because she feels she isn’t really comprehending. The thoughts become bigger than the task itself and caused her to struggle with school work that was usually no problem for her.

Embed from Getty Images20-year-old Shannon, who now stars on the CW’s Riverdale and NBC’s Rise says her obsessive thoughts would convince her to almost not say anything. Even saying “sorry” worried her because she would be afraid that maybe she would not be sincere enough and would therefore be a “liar.” This obsession with lying traces back to her childhood, when she would often get in trouble for telling fibs. Trying to avoid the “sin” of lying ballooned into constant excessive thoughts that held her back from speaking much as a teen.

Her self-image was also damaged by obsessive thoughts. “I grew to believe that I was evil, disgusting, and perverted,” she explains. “My disorder not only caused me to fixate on certain thoughts or images, but also curated ones that were specifically disturbing to me and bombarded me with them.”

Instead of living like this, Shannon decided to seek help. The first thing she did was tell her mom, who was supportive, but they had to keep working to find solutions. An article about OCD validated Shannon’s experience and helped her feel less alone. She soon sought profession help and was diagnosed with OCD and depression. “With a combination of therapy and medication, I got better,” she explains. “I learned to love life again. My problems didn’t go away, but they became much easier to face.”

Like the article that Shannon read, no doubt her own words will speak to others who are struggling with similar things and help them feel less alone.

Amelia Cunningham is a writer and editor for Starcasm.