LINKS Peloton horror movie, Bieber’s N-bombs, Best charities 2019…

CELEBITCHY – The Peloton horror movie commercial lives up to its still-building hype as a terrific bit of scary filmmaking because it a) has a disturbing premise, b) is totally straight-faced about that premise, and c) is very, very short. It also helps that the commercial’s name, “The Gift That Gives Back,” also sounds like the title of a Twilight Zone episode

THE BLAST – Now that a few clips of Justin Bieber dropping N-bombs as casually as Kissinger dropping real ones have gone viral, Bieber is trying out the “I want to use my voice to fight racism, not promote it” card. He’s further claiming that the clips were filmed when he was “young,” which is worth several laughs

VOX – Here’s how to “save lives” and “do the most good” with your charitable donations this holiday season. (This is also a handy guide for how to best make donations year-round — as with everything else, there is a strategy to charity)

REALITY TEA – “Stassi Schroeder & Beau Clark React To Rumors About Scheana Marie’s New Man Brock Davies”

LAINEY GOSSIP – I didn’t know that Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach were a couple and now that I do I can’t stopp giggling at the idea of an indie film power couple. Which isn’t a slight against them, and also Little Women comes out in three weeks so Greta doesn’t really qualify as “indie” anymore? But it’s a delightful image nonetheless

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Just when we think the Duggar Family has exhausted all Rated-G activities to partake in on Counting On, they’re packing up their outdoorsy-skirts and plaid shirts for yet another adventure you couldn’t pay us to go on ourselves.”

GO FUG YOURSELF – Is Awkwafina going to get an Oscar nomination for The Farewell? There’s buzz building, she’s terrific in general, and if nothing else we should all hope it happens so she can wear something like this to the ceremony (also, stay for Beanie Feldstein’s dress)

DLISTED – Remember last week, when butthole tanning was all the rage? Josh Brolin is the first celebrity to admit he burned his taint giving it a go

THE BLEMISH – Cha In-Ha is the third young K-Pop star to be “found dead” over the last seven weeks. There’s no official cause of death yet, but apparently it looks like his may have been a suicide — which would also mean that all three young stars (Cha In-Ha was 27; the others were 28 and 25) killed themselves

JEZEBEL – An episode from the new season of The Crown and some royal tea of long standing are behind this Headline of the Week dark horse contender: “Sex, Rumors, and the Queen”

(Photo credit: Peloton horror movie via Peloton)

John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.