Pamela Anderson believed she killed her abusive babysitter with her mind

In her Netflix documentary Pamela, A Love Story, Pamela Anderson details the hardships of her early life, including sexual assault at the hands of a female babysitter. Pamela coped with this trauma by wishing death on her abuser, and then living with guilt when she actually died the very next day.

Pamela’s parents thought this babysitter was fantastic because she often brought gifts for Pamela and her younger brother Gerry.

Pamela endured this abuse for three to four years and tried to protect her younger brother. Her abuser told her not to tell her parents.

Since young Pamela didn’t seek help from adults, she considered killing the abuser. Pamela tried to stab her with a candy cane pen and told her that she wanted to die.

She didn’t actually harm the woman, but the next day the abuser died in a car accident. This coincidence made Pamela think that she had magical powers and had killed the woman just with her mind.

Because of the guilt from this, Pamela didn’t tell anyone that she had wished her dead, and then she died.

In order to cope, Pamela experienced dissociation. She felt disconnected from her body and and would fantasize about digging a hole to China. She longed for escape, to leave her home on Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

Other abuse in Pamela’s childhood

Along with the nightmare experience with her babysitter and the guilt she carried from thinking she had contributed to her death, Pamela also witnessed physical and verbal abuse in her home.

She remembers one story where her mother was vaccuuming while her father was watching hockey. This send him into a rage and he threw her vacuum cleaner onto a nearby beach.

Pamela meticulously documented her life

Throughout Pamela’s life she kept a highly detailed record of the events of her life on yellow legal pads. This source material was integral into making her documentary, and in writing her memoir Love, Pamela (affiliate link), which released on January 31, 2023.