Kris Jenner shills for sexual arousal oils that ‘keep the monotony out of monogamy’

As if we needed further proof that the Kardashian clan will endorse and attempt to make money off of anything…

Now we have momma Kris Jenner signed on as the official spokesluber for Zestra, a brand of arousal oils that vows to “help women get in the mood and ready for romance in minutes.” That’s right ladies, if it’s late and you roll over and Bruce Jenner is giving you those hungry eyes you now have a go-to that is backed by the full faith and credit of the Kardashian empire! Consider this genuine advice on how to keep “up” with the Kardashians.

You know it’s my job to break down something like the following but I don’t think you should miss a word of why Kris feels like you should get your Zestra on! This is her full endorsement statement via the official website for the product:

I’ve always felt that everyone deserves a fabulous love life, but after discovering Zestra – a solution that helps women get in the mood and ready for romance in minutes – I just had to talk about it.

It’s amazing.

Men have all kinds of products to help give them a boost and women need to know that they have options, too.

Listen, life is complicated for all of us, and it’s normal to not always feel in the mood. With kids, work, friendships, all vying for our attention, my girlfriends and I talk about finding ways to fit in that intimate time and even more importantly, enjoy it. I tell my friends that you just have to “go for the moment”. You can’t always plan a romantic dinner or wait for a vacation to have amazing sex, so you have to take advantage of those moments of mutual intimacy. And that’s what I love about Zestra…it works in minutes and is easy-to-use. For me, it’s instant gratification. In a busy, complicated, hectic life, you can still fit in the time for sex, and you know it’s going to be enjoyable.

Zestra is a safe, natural blend of botanical oils. And it’s clinically proven to enhance sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction in 70% of women. This includes women of all ages and life stages, as well as women on certain types of medication who experience sexual difficulties. That’s important to me. So whether you are 30 or 50, on antidepressants or just stressed from everyday life, Zestra can work for you.

Now, if you are reading this and thinking, “Okay Kris. Busy I can handle. Being over 50 (and fabulous!) I can handle. But what do I do if I’m bored to tears with my relationship?” Well, I’m going to give you the same answer. Try Zestra.

It’s a great way to add a little excitement to your love life. Relationships have ebbs and flows and ups and downs that you just have to go with. You have to find simple ways to spice it up – to keep feeding the fire and keep monotony out of monogamy. All of us have those moments when we look at our partner and think to ourselves, “Seriously? Not you again.” And, then other times, they are the cutest thing in the world. Try something new and keep an open mind. Sometimes it’s as simple as just getting started. I know I’m going to be satisfied with Zestra, so why wouldn’t I use it.

Why wouldn’t you want to try something that makes sex feel amazing and works in minutes?

Try Zestra today and enjoy a fabulous love life.

Perhaps if Zestra would have been around back in the day there wouldn’t have been a Todd Waterman affair situation for Kris!?!

Well there you have it. Grandma Kris has revealed her intimate secret as to how she keeps it hot and heavy and keeps sex feeling amazing with Bruce. Hey guys…. What’s wrong there?

My bad!