LINKS Katy Perry gender reveal, Larry David not good, The Queen’s speech…
THE BLEMISH – Evidently the way a Katy Perry gender reveal works is she smears a ton of appropriately colored frosting on her man’s face. Did she smash Orlando Bloom’s face into a cake first? Did she just stir food coloring into a prepackaged canister of frosting, then grab a handful of it and say “Honey, stop squirming?” Anyway, this is also what Orlando looks like when thick gobs of pink frosting render him nearly unrecognizable; congrats to these two
DLISTED – Good old Larry David just had to go and open himself up to endless (& justified) social media criticism by declaring that he’d read Woody Allen’s “fantastic” memoir and after doing so it’s “hard to walk away…thinking that this guy did anything wrong.”
JEZEBEL – Now The Crown really needs to go for its intended six seasons, because 93-year-old Queen Elizabeth II had another defining moment of her reign this weekend after going on television to address Britain on the importance of taking the coronavirus pandemic seriously. The Queen’s speech, which was well-reviewed, came just hours before British PM Boris Johnson had to be admitted to the hospital ten days after announcing he’d contracted coronavirus
VOX – And in a gentle segue, here’s yet more proof the Trump administration is bungling things about as badly as it could in the face of a genuine (and open-ended!) emergency
CELEBITCHY – Lady Gaga is feeling a bit trapped by her fame these days, which is something celebrities always open themselves up to major criticism for whenever they bring it up. On the other hand, “Tea For One” is one of the best songs on Presence, and Gaga does suffer from clinical depression, so maybe this one’s just a wash
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Christy McGinity & Boyfriend Gonzo Carazo Filming for Little Women: LA While Mourning Loss of Newborn Daughter”
GO FUG YOURSELF – Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are now engaged in a pap stroll war that is maybe exacerbated by the shelter-at-home requirements of our current international crisis? but that, let’s be honest, would likely still be happening even if the world weren’t in the grip of disease panic right now
THE BLAST – RIP to Shirley Douglas, who passed away this weekend due to pneumonia complications. Douglas had a six-decade acting career, was a highly respected stage veteran, and was mother to three children, including Kiefer Sutherland
REALITY TEA – If you already miss Love Is Blind try Netflix’s latest offering: “New Netflix Show Too Hot To Handle Has Contestants That Can’t Kiss, Hook Up Or Have Self-Gratification To Win Cash Prize”
LAINEY GOSSIP – “I am back on my bullsh-t, pondering which fictional characters would or would not thrive in lockdown. We’ve examined the Roy family and the characters of the Star Wars sequel trilogy, so now it is time to turn our attention to the Avengers”
(Photo credit: Katy Perry gender reveal via Instragram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
