How dare you steal The Biebs!?!

Self: You do realize that writing about one David Dowling only encourages this type of petty criminal activity?

Blogger Self: Yeah, but the kid stole The Biebs.

Self: Hilarious!!!

Blogger self always wins especially when a story features a mug shot, Florida, an alias and the attempted hijacking of Justin Bieber.  23-year-old David Dowling (pictured above) was arrested in Bradenton, Florida after he tried to steal a life-size cutout of Justin Bieber. Dowling, along with a friend, entered an F.Y.I. store, lifted The Biebs and started making a dash to get out of mall-Dodge with his five-finger discount. What Mr. Dowling didn’t realize is that the store in question was manned by possibly the most dedicated retail assistant manager in America.

This employee tracked them down as they tried to go all Jailbreak through Sears and demanded that the two return to the store. Being undaunted in his Bieber Fever, Dowling ran off again but was soon apprehended by Paul Blart: Mall Cop while he and his accomplice were hiding in the bushes on the exterior grounds of the shopping mall.

Dowling was arrested and when he was given the old Law and Order shake down he provided the false name David Michael Tan but was foiled once again as the heady detectives discovered his ID on his person. He’s been charged with a misdemeanor count of shoplifting the cutout Biebs, which retail goes for around $35.00.

So what did Mr. “Tan” have to say for himself?

“We were just having fun holding Justin Bieber hostage.”

It’s all fun until someone gets hurt David. Wait, no one got hurt except for Dowling himself and now he has to face friends who are going to give him hell for trying to shoplift Justin Bieber. And as for the real-deal holder of the most watched video in YouTube history (over 600 million folks)? He was showing face at VH1’s 2011 Do Something Awards and had no comment while looking even cooler than his cutout self.

Bieber stealer: MCSO – Splash News / Bieber: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com