Heidi and Spencer Pratt are now broke and homeless

Heidi and Spencer now say they are living in Spencer’s parents’ guest house, have zero money, owe $2 million in taxes, and regret not saving a dime they earned on The Hills and through a deluge of staged tabloid photographs. They wrote a book about being famous, but obviously missed the whole point.

For two young people with little talent, Heidi and Spencer managed to get paid around $10 million during their time in the sun, but it all ran through their fingers as fast it is came like so much water. Among their expenses: $35,000-a-month rental fees, $3 million on Heidi’s disastrous singing career (which grossed about $9 in revenue,) six cars, hundreds of thousands on Heidi’s new body and face, and countless sums on healing crystals.

Throughout all this they chased after their cruel mistress Fame, hoping for just one more of her fickle glances their way; but the harder they tried, the further away she ran, only giving them brief rewards on blogs, tabloids, and television for their strange behavior, but withholding any long-term stick or lucrative revenue stream. She is a cruel, cruel mistress.

They got fake married, then real married, fake divorced, faked public nervous breakdowns (probably had real private ones), had real plastic surgery, spent real money on a fake obsession with crystals, spent real money on a fake singing career, two fake movie careeers, etc. etc. etc.

Spencer blames the Jersey Shore kids and their amped up antics from stealing their precious MTV ratings, and stealing their mistress Fame, but the truth is that she had already been behaving cool toward them, probably because they took her for granted.

Spencer told Life & Style (via Stupid Celebrities):

“We were immature, worrying too much about the famous part instead of the actual business part. In hindsight, we shouldn’t have spent any of our money. We should have been low-key and saved. We spoke with a bankruptcy attorney and I’ve looked into unemployment checks.”

We thought The Hills was going to be like 90210 and we’d have another five to 10 years. The ratings were consistent. But we never saw Jersey Shore coming. Before, TV audiences were fine with seeing us all argue, but now they want you to punch one another in the face and hook up with three different people. Our cast was a bit boring and snoozeworthy in comparison. No wonder we got canceled.”

Right now they rely on Spencer’s parents to buy them groceries. Heidi is presumably still estranged from her mom, who is in a similar situation in Colorado after having lost her restaurant, and is now forced to clean houses for a living.