THE BLAST – It’ll likely be awhile before Basketball Wives — or any big name reality show for that matter — starts filming again, so it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that there’s now an Evelyn Lozada OnlyFans. Evelyn just opened up her account on the formerly adult star-heavy platform; she’s charging $25 a month for foot fetish content (for now)
REALITY TEA – It seems Mark from Love Is Blind, whose big crime on the show was being younger than the woman he loved, has gone and upped his disgrace game. Mark reportedly cheated on his post-show girlfriend LC (who was on Love Is Blind for a minute) at some point during the coronavirus pandemic, which is unhealthy for all sorts of different reasons. Oh, and he may have also cheated on Jessica while Love Is Blind was filming?
JEZEBEL – Now here’s a death cult conspiracy theory to perk your ears up: “Is Donald Trump Trying to Catch the Coronavirus to Get Out of Doing His Job?” (The obvious answer is “No, letting himself be surrounded by people who’ve tested positive for COVID-19 is just representative of his decision-making process and presidency in general,” but it’s still an intriguing thought!)
GO FUG YOURSELF – Somehow there was a movie premiere in Hollywood this week? The movie is called aTypical Wednesday, it got screened on a rooftop with the audience sitting in fancy deck chairs spaced well apart from each other, and a bunch of big names posed with and without their masks — so, successful pandemic premiere?
LAINEY GOSSIP – Jenny Slate announced she’ll no longer voice a biracial character on Big Mouth (Netflix), which then prompted Kristen Bell to say she’s not going to voice a biracial character on Central Park (Apple+)
PAJIBA – The premise of Netflix’s new movie 365 Days sounds like a drunken idea from the first Love Is Blind pitch, and apparently the movie itself, while full of nudity and simulated sex and other such things designed to generate attention, is pretty lukewarm trash
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – I said “big-name reality show” in the paragraph on the Evelyn Lozada OnlyFans above because it seems The Hills: New Beginnings “is set to resume filming on Season 2 this summer.” The show had only begun filming its second season when everything came to a halt this past March; currently, the production team is looking to restart things “at the end of July or in early August
VOX – The ongoing pandemic has given rise to the virtual wedding — particularly in Washington DC, where couples can officiate their own ceremonies. Seems like it would be especially tough to have a virtual wedding feel intimate, but these couples are making it work
CELEBITCHY – If you remember the name of former YouTube celebrity Myka Stauffer, it’s almost certainly because a few weeks ago she revealed that she and her husband had “rehomed” their adopted son Huxley. Myka has finally offered a lengthy statement on the matter, one that basically boils down to her regret that she wasn’t “able to tell more of my story from the beginning” and other language that blames her four-year-old for what happened
DLISTED – Disney is going to “reimagin[e]” its famed Splash Mountain ride after enough people realized it’s based on the semi-obscure, definitely racist 1946 movie Song of the South for the company to do something about that. The new ride –it’ll still be the same ride, just different-looking — will be based on The Princess and the Frog
(Photo credit: Evelyn Lozada OnlyFans via Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter @john_starcasm.