Demi Lovato says she was suicidal at 7, even before being on ‘Barney’

Demi Lovato on Cosmopolitan Magazine

Demi Lovato is currently happy and healthy, but it’s been a rough road getting there. From her cutting habit to drugs to bulemia, Demi has certainly dealt with her fair share of struggles. Even at just 7-years-old when she landed her first gig in showbiz on the children’s hit Barney, Demi was suffering from suicidal thoughts.

In a new interview with Cosmopolitan Magazine, Demi is opening up about her personal battles.

“At the time, I was just so grateful to be on TV, but I was also really struggling,” Demi explains of landing a spot on Barney. “Looking back, there was a connection, probably between any kid who’s ever sang that song to Barney, a little place in a child’s heart, a void, that could be filled. And maybe Barney fills it.”

Demi Lovato on Barney with Selena Gomez
^ Demi Lovato (bottom left) on Barney with her fellow pop star Selena Gomez.

“Even before Barney, I was suicidal. I was seven,” Demi, who also sang the show’s theme song, admits. “With Barney, I guess subliminally, I did have a relationship with this figure that was saving my life in a way… I’ve talked about being bullied and the years of being a teenager, but I went through things when I was younger that I’ve never talked about that probably caused me to turn out the way I ended up turning out.”

While Demi hints at a traumatic incident in her past, she doesn’t give details but she does seemingly allude to it in her new song, “Warrior,” which suggests that it may have something to do with sexual abuse. In the song, she sings, “There’s a part of me I can’t get back, A little girl grew up too fast, All it took was once, I’ll never be the same.”

Of the cryptic lyrics, the X-Factor judge told the mag, “My family knows what it’s about. When I’m ready to open up that subject with the outside world, then I’ll be free to talk about it. But right now, it’s kind of one of those things where the lyrics speak for me. It’s all in the song.”

Demi Lovato in Cosmopolitan Magazine

Despite her sometimes dark childhood, Demi has stayed positive and is using her experiences to help others. “I’m not super religious, but I grew up Christian and I believe in God. When I’m in L.A., I don’t talk about it that much because people are very judgmental, but I just feel like God gave me a voice, not just to sing with. He put me through those things, which seemed horrible at the time, but they were so worth it. With the obstacles I’ve overcome, I can help people.”

Demi has chosen her path and although she once was caught up in a nasty addiction, she’s pulled through and no longer wants to be thrown into the Lindsay Lohan category.

“When I look at someone who’s out there partying excessively or rappers rapping about doing drugs, who people look up to, and think, Oh that’s a G; that’s a gangster. I think, You’re actually being a giant p***y,” she explains.

However, that doesn’t mean her mind doesn’t sometimes wander and get tempted to act out. Fortunately, Demi has learned how to tame that lion. “That’s what makes me a bada**. Being a bada** is handling your sh*t,” she states.

Once the interview was made public, Demi, who just lost her father last week, took to Twitter with a message for her fans. “God has funny ways of teaching you things in life… But my Lord is GREAT!!!” Demi tweeted. “Life can be so difficult at times but fighting through the pain is so worth it. I’d rather feel every kind of emotion than not feel at all.”

Behind the scenes video from Demi’s Cosmo shoot:

Demi’s full interview with Cosmopolitan Magazine for their August 2013 issue hits newsstands on July 9.

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