LINKS Coronavirus cash grab, #ReleaseTheButtholeCut, Octavia Spencer’s advice…

JEZEBEL – Republican businesswoman Kelly Loeffler, who also happens to be married to the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, is one of several US senators to make millions of dollars selling stocks after a private briefing on COVID-19 literally months before the general public was warned about how serious the virus is. Loeffler’s coronavirus cash grab alone appears to have netted her around three million dollars

THE BLEMISH – There is apparently a version of Cats that features all the cats’ CGI buttholes. Those buttholes were later edited out of the version of Cats that made it to theaters. And we must all be out of shows and movies to binge, because now fans of ruby star cinema are demanding to see the “Butthole Cut” of Cats, a movie that, who knows, may actually be improved dramatically by the presence of cat buttholes a-plenty

CELEBITCHY – Academy Award-winner Octavia Spencer didn’t *present* this as advice in her recent interview on The Daily Show; given current circumstances, I’m choosing to take her words as advice and suggest them as advice for others

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Blowups, Breakdowns, Bar Fights & Bear Smoochin’: MTV Releases ‘Total Madness’ Super Trailer for The Challenge Season 35″

THE BLAST – Speaking of binging entertainment, here’s another helpful list of stuff you maybe haven’t gotten to yet. This list was actually more helpful for me in straightening out a misconception I didn’t even realize I’d held: Lucifer, a show I have never seen one minute of, is not only not the Buffy spin-off Angel, it’s in no way related to Buffy at all

GO FUG YOURSELF – And in other, supremely important entertainment news, here’s a helpful explainer of how you can help websites — like GFY, yes, and also this very one you’re reading! — in our current era of despair

REALITY TEA – If Thomas Ravenel hadn’t already gotten the boot from Southern Charm over domestic violence allegations, he may well have been let go for spouting racist coronavirus conspiracy theories

DLISTED – A Tale of Two Celebrities: Lost star Daniel Dae Kim has tested positive for coronavirus and used social media to offer a calm, helpful, important little speech about the importance social distancing and quarantining. Meanwhile, Lost star Evangeline Lilly — whose father, suffering from stage four lukemia, is living with Lilly — called the pandemic a simple “flu” and said she’s conducting business as usual

VOX – Spain, like the United States, was slow to mobilize against coronavirus. However, unlike the US, Spain has been fast to enact and enforce countrywide quarantining over the past couple of weeks. Consider this both a cautionary tale about what to (maybe) expect in America and a tragedy about what might have been if we’d acted sooner

LAINEY GOSSIP – Finally, here’s a beautiful little bit of nostalgia for you to devour: “Romeo Must Die turns 20″

(Photo credit: Coronavirus cash grab via Instagram)

John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.