BEFORE THE 90 DAYS Abby and Sean Hiler break up, he explains what happened

TLC’s hit international relationship series 90 Day Fiance has a surprisingly high success rate as far as couples making it down the aisle and remaining together, but the same cannot be said for the network’s sister show Before the 90 Days. It’s only been a month since show stars Paul and Karine called it quits for good, and now Sean Hiler has revealed it is over between him and his Haitian fiancée Abby.

The announcement came via an Instagram text graphic posted by Sean that reads: “Well, Abby just broke up with me, so it looks like I’m single again.” Sean followed up the announcement with half-hour Instagram Live session explaining what happened. Essentially, it sounds as though the negativity that Abby received from being on the show — both online and in person — was just too much for her.

Sean reveals that Abby was recently recognized in the Dominican Republic by two American women and they began following her around calling her a wh0re, etc. Sean talks at length about how painful it has been for Abby being on the receiving end of so much negativity, and I think he does a great job of reminding us all that these are real people with real emotions on these shows. Sure, they are public figures who chose to share their lives with us, which means they have opened themselves up for criticism and ridicule. But damn y’all, these are just human beings. I enjoy having a laugh at their expense sometimes, just as much as the next fan, but I see just a fraction of the constant deluge of obsessive hatefulness they receive, and it is really disturbing.

Anyways, Sean doesn’t rule out getting back together with Abby, but that doesn’t seem likely at this point. He has nothing but nice things to say about Abby, and he repeatedly wishes her the best — including her college, future business plans, and even any future relationships she might enter into. Oh, and Sean does address the whole Chris thing and whether or not he entered into their recent break up.

Here is a recap of the Instagram live session broken down just a little bit for readability:

On the breakup and why it happened

Hey everybody. I figured that I should probably come on and do a live video and answer some questions I guess. You know, at least some questions and kind of explain things. Obviously, Abby is not happy that I posted that she broke up with me. She thinks it’s too soon, but it was hours ago that she told me she was breaking up with me. But I was at work, so I couldn’t respond to her. When I did, she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.

It wasn’t until after I posted that she had broke up with me that she then told me what the actual reason was. So…a couple of American ladies apparently down in Santiago, Dominican Republic saw Abby and started following her around calling her a wh0re. And that’s — you know, for better or worse — I mean, there are a lot of good things that came out of the show, but that’s one of the things that Abby has to deal with.

The show portrayed her to be that way, and it’s not the truth. She’s not, but the show made her out like that. TLC made her out like that. Sharp Entertainment made her out like that, and there’s nothing we could do about it. We signed a damned contract, so unfortunately now people follow Abby around…People are snapping pictures of her and posting on Facebook saying, “Oh I saw Abby out with this person.” And it may be…but you know I love Abby…

…People do the same thing to me, you know. If I get called a pedophile once a day, I get called a pedophile 100 times a day, so it’s..not the first time that that we’ve had issues like this. I had some some guy on Twitter making death threats against me…

That’s what happened, and I think it just finally came to a head with Abby. Abby’s gotten tired of dealing with it, you know? She had deleted her Instagram page because she was getting tired of all the negative comments that people leave on her — I mean…you know fans of the show, you know there’s like groups on Facebook where they bash us all day long. And that’s fine, and I don’t go to those groups, and people can say whatever they want, but when people come on your page and start posting stuff…I don’t go on your pages and Abby doesn’t go on your page and start making fun of you, but you guys feel that that’s okay for you to come onto our page and do that.

Now personally, myself, I just, you know, delete your comments or if it’s — if I feel it’s egregious enough, then I’ll block you and delete your comment…A lot of that is age difference…I’m old enough and have had enough of life that…I’ve got a different perspective on things than Abby does. Things that are water off my back really bother her deeply…That is a difference in our ages, it’s a difference in our experiences.

It takes a certain amount of fortitude — it takes a certain thickness of skin to be able to put up with the rude comments, the name-calling and everything else that we have to put up with. And you know, it’s hard on her. Abby has a very hard time with it. She takes it to heart, you know? You guys get on there and make your cute little rude comments and think you’re being funny, but you’re talking about a real human being, and you’re making fun of a real human being…I’m not saying everybody does that, obviously, but you know that those that do know who they are, and it’s all fun and games for all you people that watch the show because to you we’re not real people. But we are real people.

Are Sean and Abby done for good?

I don’t know if we’ll get back together or not — if she wants to get back together…Obviously, I’d love to work things out…I’m not going to beg her to come back. If she wants to come back, you know, if she wants to work things out, then she can.

…Abby just needs time to be by herself and get away from the whole situation, you know? Maybe we’ll get back together, maybe we won’t. I don’t know. She and I are still talking — I was talking to her shortly before I came on here — but I don’t know if we’re gonna get back together or not.

What are Sean’s feelings about Abby after the break up?

I wish nothing but the best for Abby. Abby is a wonderful woman, and you’re not gonna hear me say anything bad about her because there’s nothing bad for me to say about her. Everybody is a human being, and everybody has faults, everybody has strengths and weaknesses, and that’s just the way people are. And I am NOT going to say anything bad about Abby…because I care about her and I still love her. I still want, you know, whether she’s with me or whether, you know, she and I are actually completely broken up and don’t get back together and she finds another guy — I still wish her the best.

And I hope that she goes on and finishes her degree. I hope that she opens up her clothing store and does that thing. I would like that to be with me, but if it’s not with me, then I’ll go my separate way and open up my store — just focus on me — soon.

On why they chose to do the show and their plans for the future:

We did the show because we thought it would be good publicity for the business that she and I were going to start: her clothing store. But you know Abby’s going to college now, and so it’s gonna be four years before she’s able to run a store, so we’re not going to open that. In the meantime…I’m going to be opening up a cell phone store down in Puerto Plata…If Abby and I aren’t together, I’m just going to focus on myself and my kids and, you know, get my business up and running down there in the in the Dominican Republic.

Did Abby leave Sean for Chris?

No, she did not go back to Chris. My god, you people and Chris!…I swear to God Chris hasn’t been in the picture since August of last year, and y’all are still talking about Chris. What the f**k?! You guys need to catch up on life, OK? If you think that what you’re seeing on TV is live television, then you’ve got bigger problems than 90 Day Fiance, I guarantee you that.

Why doesn’t Sean date a woman from the United States?

I have dated probably a dozen black women in the United States in the last five years, so it’s not like I haven’t dated women in the United States. I have, but because I want to retire to the Caribbean — or semi-retire I guess because I’m going to open up a business down there — I wanted to find a woman from the Caribbean to have a relationship with. Because, believe it or not, I have dated women here in the United States and been very serious about them, but as soon as I tell them this is what I want to do with my life: I want to retire/semi-retire and go to the Caribbean, believe it or not a lot of people don’t want to do that. A lot of women that you date don’t just want to pack up their lives and leave their families and move out of the country, so I figured it would be better to find somebody down there, and Abby and I just happened to meet.

Will we be seeing Sean and Abby’s break up on TLC?

No, we are not filming for another season. I think Paul and Karine are, but…I don’t know what’s going on with him.