3 contestants revealed for Dancing With The Stars Season 14

Dancing with the Stars Season 14 cast

ABC has managed to unite two of my biggest and oldest guilty TV pleasures for the upcoming 14th season of their reality competition series Dancing With The Stars. The seemingly incongruous and completely opposite worlds of Melrose Place and Little House On The Prairie collide when dastardly devious Dr. Peter Burns will compete on the same stage as the unconquerablely innocent pig-tailed prairie princess Laura Ingalls Wilder as actors Jack Wagner and Melissa Gilbert get ready to samba and salsa their way into reality show history! Oh, and Sherri Shephard from The View will be there too.

As reluctant as I am to do this, I suppose I should share more recent photos of the competitors, although when I am watching them perform this spring all I will be able to see is the only man ever to conquer the icy heart of the backstabbingest b!tchiest b!tch to ever grace the small screen (I will love you always Amanda Woodward!) and the little pioneer girl who conquered the spirit of the second backstabbingest b!tchiest b!tch to ever grace the small screen (I will always hate you Nellie Oleson) with a kindness and pious purity second only to Andy Griffith. Oh, and I will see some lady from The View.

Jack Wagner 2011

Jack Wagner pictured at the 2011 Hollywood Christmas Parade Concert at Universal Citywalk in Los Angeles, California on November 22, 2011. Credit: Nikki Nelson / WENN.com

Melissa Gilbert 2011

Melissa Gilbert at the world premiere of Born To Be Wild 3D held at the California Science Center in Los Angeles, California on April 3, 2011. Credit: Adriana M. Barraza / WENN.com

Sherri Shepherd The View

Sherri Shephard at the 2011 Samsung Hope For Children Benefit Gala in New York City on June 7, 2011. Credit: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com