Former Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham orchestrated what could very well be the worst publicity stunt fail in pop culture history earlier this week when she was unable to sell a homemade sex t@pe of herself and a former boyfriend due to legal reasons so she decided to make a fake real sex t@pe that would eventually be “leaked” accidentally co-starring perhaps the most famous male p0rn star working today, James Deen. Farrah allegedly went as far as to try to convince Deen to pretend he was dating Farrah, which he would have nothing to do with — because even he has moral standards.
So, Farrah and Deen went to Vivid Entertainment and filmed what is reportedly a half hour long sex t@pe / p0rno film which Farrah has claimed was a way to capture her sexiness in its prime and was not meant to be viewed by the public — that is unless some company met her asking price of a couple million dollars — because even she has a price.
So far there has been a lot of discussion about the film but very few specific details revealed about it. James Deen did an interview with Ashley Majeski of The Clicker in which he stated, “I can tell you that the movie’s amazing in my opinion,” but little else. According to The Clicker, “Deen said that the company that paid him and Abraham to make the video has asked him not to reveal anything that’s in the movie, and he wouldn’t comment on if the movie would be Teen Mom-themed.”
We all know the internet abhors a vacuum, so we here at Starcasm thought we might try to guess what Farrah Abraham’s fake real homemade professionally shot leaked sold sex t@pe p0rno movie might be like, including some title suggestions. Here are the Top 5 concepts we came up with:
5. The Teen Mom Union Special with Dr. Deen
Dr. James Deen talks with Farrah about what all has been happening with her recently, but things get a little super heated between the two and Dr. Deen decides it is time for a little sexual healing as he transitions from being a therapist to being The Farrahpist!
4. Debra’s Daughter Does Dallas
Farrah decides to move to Texas to be closer to her dad, but winds up getting closer with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo as well as Maverick’s owner Mark Cuban (both played by James Deen). Farrah wins an AVN Award for inventing a new way to pleasure a man orally called “The Cuban Cigar.” (Insert “Mom & Me” hot sauce joke here.)
3. Deen Mom
Farrah Wham Bam Thank You Abraham shows just how hard being a teen mom can be thanks to how hard James Deen can be. The video is innovative in that it uses the same scrapbook animations as Teen Mom (and the same acoustic guitar strumming) for seques between positions, as well as occasional voice overs from Farrah talking about what’s happening on camera. The video has an awkward ending when Farrah pressures an otherwise content James for an engagement ring, and he bails.
2. My Teenage Dream Rear Ended
Farrah’s memoir inspired adult film that, just like her book, includes an accompanying soundtrack of all original Farrah Abraham songs, including the single “Finally Getting Up From Rocking My Bottom.” Regretfully, her songs play throughout the video, which causes erectile dysfunction in 88% of males. (James Deen is not one of them.)
1. 50 Shades of Greybraham
Farrah Abraham assumes the role of college graduate Anastasia Steele, with James Deen taking on the much-coveted role of seducer extraordinaire Christian Grey. Farrah Risquebraham and James Deen indulge in all sorts of unibrow-raising sexual activities including b0ndage, sp@nking, and… a vagina costume?
Some video titles that didn’t make the Top 5 included Jezebel Without A Cause (starring James Deen), F 1 Abraham (inspired by Farrah’s Twitter ID), and about a dozen based on her childrens book Passy Perfume.