LINKS! Offset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll, Bieber’s new feud, Real Housewives return…

Offset's alleged mistress Cuban Doll

THE BLASTOffset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll has been cleared of all charges in the gun possession incident stemming from a night out with Kodak Black a few weeks ago

JEZEBELWhy is Justin Bieber feuding with 15-year-old JoJo Siwa on Instagram? And why is he so bad at acting like that’s not what he was doing?

REALITY TEAHere’s a comprehensive and controversy-free list of Real Housewives that Bravo should bring back across all the spin-offs in 2019

CELEBITCHYScotland Yard has officially designated Meghan Markle’s sister Samantha Grant a “fixated person,” which appears to refer to people who “stalk or harass public figures” — so, sounds about right. They’re also calling her a “risk,” and we probably will never hear anything more about that after 2018 comes to a close

THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUPJon Gosselin, who now has full custody of his 14-year-old son Collin, is not here for any of his ex-wife Kate’s claims about Collin’s health or special needs

THE BLEMISH“I’ve never wanted a penis. Apart from to piss up a tree. Being able to do that standing up: so convenient. You can just whip it out and whatever. But the idea of something so vulnerable swinging between my legs, I think I’m all right without.” -Keira Knightly

DLISTEDIf you ever wanted to know what Grover from Sesame Street maybe dropping an F-bomb might sound like, here’s your chance

LAINEY GOSSIPJake Gyllenhaal has a new girlfriend; she’s a model named Jeanne Cadieu who’s sixteen years younger than him; she also deals with cold weather better than him

VOXSomething to maybe look forward to: “How meditation and psychedelic drugs could fix tribalism.” Happy 2019, everyone!

(Photo credit: Offset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll via Instagram)

John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.



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