THE BLAST – Offset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll has been cleared of all charges in the gun possession incident stemming from a night out with Kodak Black a few weeks ago
JEZEBEL – Why is Justin Bieber feuding with 15-year-old JoJo Siwa on Instagram? And why is he so bad at acting like that’s not what he was doing?
REALITY TEA – Here’s a comprehensive and controversy-free list of Real Housewives that Bravo should bring back across all the spin-offs in 2019
CELEBITCHY – Scotland Yard has officially designated Meghan Markle’s sister Samantha Grant a “fixated person,” which appears to refer to people who “stalk or harass public figures” — so, sounds about right. They’re also calling her a “risk,” and we probably will never hear anything more about that after 2018 comes to a close
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – Jon Gosselin, who now has full custody of his 14-year-old son Collin, is not here for any of his ex-wife Kate’s claims about Collin’s health or special needs
THE BLEMISH – “I’ve never wanted a penis. Apart from to piss up a tree. Being able to do that standing up: so convenient. You can just whip it out and whatever. But the idea of something so vulnerable swinging between my legs, I think I’m all right without.” -Keira Knightly
DLISTED – If you ever wanted to know what Grover from Sesame Street maybe dropping an F-bomb might sound like, here’s your chance
LAINEY GOSSIP – Jake Gyllenhaal has a new girlfriend; she’s a model named Jeanne Cadieu who’s sixteen years younger than him; she also deals with cold weather better than him
VOX – Something to maybe look forward to: “How meditation and psychedelic drugs could fix tribalism.” Happy 2019, everyone!
(Photo credit: Offset’s alleged mistress Cuban Doll via Instagram)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter @john_starcasm.