Diane Thomas, 52, is a resident of Monroe LA. Recently, police were called to her house because of a brawl Thomas and her boyfriend were having. Thomas was the aggressor–allegedly, she punched the man in the face multiple times and scratched him up with her fingernails.
Then, when the arresting officer read Thomas her rights, she spat out that the boyfriend was “a b*tch,” and “he got in her face so she beat his a**.”
This would have been just a domestic violence charge–but Thomas kept talking. She became nervous, and pleaded with the officer that she couldn’t go to jail, because, in the words of the police report, “she has a good job.” So Thomas uttered the words that will dog her for the rest of her days:
If you won’t take me to jail I will get on my knees right now. Officer I will even lick your butt hole.
Tombstone-worthy, for sure.
And that right there added a bribery charge to the counts against Thomas. Let it be a lesson to children nationwide–”offering to lick policeman’s butt” isn’t just a joke; it’s a full-bore crime, with real consequences.
Thomas’ bond was set at $5,000, which she paid shortly thereafter. She is currently free to gallivant about Monroe with fists and tongue akimbo.
A court date has not been set.
(Photo credits: MC and KJ via Instagram; mug shot vie Monroe PD)