CELEBITCHY – Rumors of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle moving abroad to escape the British tabloids & endless gossip have intensified to the point where even pro-Meghan outlets are talking about it like it’s a done deal. Apparently they’re considering moving to the US or Canada — which would be interesting from a celebrity / gossip standpoint, but probably wouldn’t solve any of their celebrity / gossip problems?
JEZEBEL – Almost all of the music you hear in your preferred videos from your favorite YouTube content creators was written by composers and musicians who never see a penny for their work, proving once again that getting paid in exposure is the same thing as eating air for breakfast
LAINEY GOSSIP – Jeffrey Epstein’s family hired a forensic pathologist to examine Epstein’s autopsy findings, and that pathologist has concluded Epstein’s injuries “were more consistent with strangulation than with suicide”
REALITY TEA – “After 300,43,000 pre-wedding events on Real Housewives Of Dallas the day LeeAnne Locken marries Rich Emberlin has finally arrived. And now the Dallas social scene can breath easy without fear that LeeAnne will be chasing them down, coming to collect on favors she did in 1987 to extort free wedding goods and services”
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “EXCLUSIVE! Jon Gosselin Gives Update on Son Collin’s Life: Not Talking to Mom or Siblings; Active in School Activities & More”
DLISTED – Suzanne Somers and her husband Alan Hamel get weekly peptid injections so they can keep up their twice-a-day sex-making
VOX – “The exact scenario California was trying to prevent has happened: A power line has sparked a dangerous wildfire near a densely populated area amid severe fire conditions. The Getty Fire in western Los Angeles has now burned more than 656 acres, forcing evacuations from 7,091 homes since igniting early Monday morning. The blaze was only 15 percent contained as of Wednesday.”
>THE BLAST – It’s a good thing Johnny Depp won an eight-figure settlement from his former lawyers after bringing fraud and other charges against them, since he’ll need the money to pay his current lawyers in his ongoing legal battle with ex-wife Amber Heard
THE BLEMISH – “Elizabeth Hurley and bikinis, three words that were never sweeter together. At 54, her body is aging 3 times slower than normal. It’s like gravity can’t penetrate a force field around her boobs. They’re ever present in her Instagram feed and as amazing now as they were 25 years ago. She’s also parlayed them into the Austin Powers movies and a swimwear line, Elizabeth Hurley Beach. Life is good for the Brit.”
GO FUG YOURSELF – Come for Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding’s Last Christmas red carpet looks; stay for not-so-spoilery spoilers about the movie’s shocking holiday twist
(Photo credit: Meghan Markle moving via ALPR / AdMedia / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail email@example.com or Twitter @john_starcasm.