LINKS! Stormy Daniels not Trump’s type?, Christina goes makeup-free, Bieber born (ish) again…

CELEBITCHYNow Donald Trump is going around telling his friends and advisors that Stormy Daniels isn’t the kind of woman he’s attracted to. I think the only honest comparison here is that of a rat swearing to his rat friends and advisors that he’ll only eat certain kinds of cheese. Particularly if that rat is named Templeton, and he just got back from the fairground smorgasbord

DLISTEDChristina Aguilera went almost makeup-free for the cover of Paper and is almost unrecognizable. There are plenty of made-up pictures of her in the actual feature, though. Also, apparently she “borrowed” a wig from the photo shoot because she wanted to wear it during sex later

THE BLEMISHJustin Bieber’s reps are laying the groundwork for the big new “Christian-appropriate” album he’s working on by leaking quotes about how he’s “always been religious.” I know that this is really nothing more than bait for gossip bloggers, but damn it if that’s not some good bait

JEZEBELPregnant Cardi B announced last night that her new album has a release date — and that the date is just a touch under two weeks away

REALITY TEAThough she’s not on Vanderpump Rules as much as she used to be and her boyfriend Brian Carter is hardly ever on it at all, Kristen Doute would like you to know that she and Brian are “still together.” Take that ringing endorsement for whatever you think it’s worth

VOXEvangelical Christians have a particularly…creative defense of Donald Trump’s infidenity

LAINEY GOSSIPAngelina Jolie apparently really is dating again, and apparently the gentleman is “older-looking.” Which would be a shade-tastic enough way of describing him — except that the report also goes on to say that “isn’t a celebrity or high-profile in any way.” It sounds an awful lot like someone is trying to suggest Angelina’s new boyfriend is ugly

UPROXXSo the Roseanne revival starts tonight. If you don’t already have a take on it, here’s an in-depth and nuanced review of the new show and its place in the pop culture landscape of 2018

(Photo credit: Stormy Daniels via LSFL / Splash News)

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