LINKS! Kylie and Travis are just dumb kids, Timothee Chalamet’s big break, Nikki Bella masturbating…
CELEBITCHY – “Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott are just two dumb kids” is, ultimately, the correct take on these two super-rich and increasingly powerful young parents
DLISTED – Timothee Chalamet, who’s already apparently going to play Laurie in Greta Gerwig’s remake of Little Women, is apparently also in talks to star as Paul Atreides in an upcoming Dune remake. Neither movie is supposed to be out for at least a year, so you have plenty of time to reread the books
THE BLEMISH – Your headline of the day: “Nikki Bella Can’t Masturbate Without Picturing John Cena on Top of Amy Schumer”
LAINEY GOSSIP – “Who was grinding with Michael B. Jordan in a St. Tropez club last week” is the “Who did Tiffany Haddish see touching Jay-Z in front of Beyonce” of the summer and some of these theories are indeed hilarious
THE BLAST – And speaking of Tiffany Haddish, her ex-husband disagrees with the abuse claims against him, claiming that it was Tiffany who attacked him and that she “regularly requested” he “become more aggressive” during sex
JEZEBEL – Did you know that Jessica Biel had a combination chocolate shop/day care center in Hollywood called Au Fudge? Me either! I have so many questions, among them Why did you think combining these two things was a good business model and How many chocolates did you lose at the hands of loose children over the last two years? Alas, we may never know, since this curiosity is closing thanks to terrible reviews
REALITY TEA – As someone who’s been covering The Real Housewives of Potomac since the first season, I have to say I’m so glad the show finally found the petty footing it lacked in those dreary early episodes
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – That Teen Mom-on-mom kiss sure is still reverberating
PAJIBA – It: Chapter Two has begun filming and Bill Skarsgard is having a creepily easy time getting back into the character of Pennywise
(Photo credits: Kylie and Travis are just dumb kids via GQ)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail at john@starcasm.net or send on Twitter at @john_starcasm.