Former Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham has been teasing a comedy tour for months now, but it could be that it has already begun… on Yelp! Farrah’s storied history with Yelp goes back more than five years. In January of 2017, Farrah went viral for reading one-star Yelp reviews of her since-closed Froco frozen yogurt shop in Texas.
Since then, Farrah has used Yelp and Google Reviews as a way to lash out at companies she had a bad experience with. That seems fairly normal, right? Ah, but Farrah’s negative reviews are truly something special!
Farrah’s most memorable Yelp review to date was probably when she trashed a “mentally ill bi polar” Harvard professor for kicking her out of an online writing class. Farrah’s review was written in classic Farrahspeak, which is unfortunately a language that is not recognized by Harvard. The whole thing was nothing short of comedy gold.
In her latest Yelp diss, Farrah lashes out at a horse boarding company in Texas that was looking after Sophia’s miniature horse, Starburst. (Farrah’s dad Michael used to look after Starburst, but Farrah and Michael have reportedly had a bit of a falling out that resulted in no more free equine care.)
Farrah’s negative review is similar to most all of her negative reviews in that she accuses the business of discrimination, harassment, etc. It’s also similar in that it eventually does away with prepositions, verbs, articles and more in favor of stringing together a list of derogatory nouns and adjectives.
Here is the actual one-star review left by Farrah for Spicewood Farms:
As I wrote FLO I hope no other animal or human is treated like this ever again. The lack of accountability by the owners, the obvious lies, abusive manipulative behavior mixed with literally not taking care of my horse when she needs it most as stated in my response. I love when you pay someone and they can not deliver on their own agreement and want to tell you want to do with your money.
I’m done with narcissism, abusive behavior and animal neglect I hope Flo and her husband get mental help so more people do not have to deal with their ungrateful, blame, guilt, lack of accountability error behaviors.
Legally and psychologically speaking.
Farrah’s review was accompanied by some of her correspondence with Florence (aka FLO) from Spicewood Farms. At one point, Farrah claims that she is a lawyer and “the most fair and honest person you will ever meet.” But, before we get to the correspondence, here is Florence’s response to Farrah’s review:
When I opened my barn to this gal, I had no idea she was a “reality star”. (Google Farrah Abraham) People warned me, but I’m a big believer in giving folks a chance. When I first read her yelp review, I was sad for her, sad for the chaos in her life. And then I stepped back and realized reality stars thrive on chaos because that gets clicks.
Here are the facts: The day she brought Starburst here, she handed me a tube of horse sedation, and said “This is for the farrier”. So, I put little Starburst on the farriers list, & checked her hooves weekly for 8 weeks. At 8 weeks the farrier said she needed trimming. So, on Tuesday that week, I sent her an email saying Starburst was on his work list for Wednesday. No reply from her. Wednesday, he did a great job trimming and without sedation! Farrah should have been GRATEFUL for the work he did. Instead, she refused to pay for his work, saying he should not have trimmed her horse, and that her horse only needs trimming 2x per year! She denies giving me the sedation tube for my farrier, so I sent her a pic of it.
Horses in captivity do not wear their hooves down by travelling over landscapes. ALL experts recommend farrier work every 6-8 weeks. Otherwise, long toes put pressure on tendons/ligaments, and can cause lameness.
We take excellent care of horses here. Have for 25 years. So. I got this review for CARING for her horse, and requesting to be PAID for the farrier work. Which she refuses to pay, and then writes this review. Wow. I had no idea that caring for her horse would bring me into her orbit of chaos.
It is sad for us that we have asked her to leave (after seeing this review) in that Starburst got a lot of love, attention, exercise, and great care here. This is my home. I need peace here. Good luck to her new barn! I just wish I could post photos we took of Starburst last night. She looks fabulous! And nice hoof trim job!!
Here is an email from Florence to Farrah:
And Farrah’s response (click to enlarge):
I will point out that Farrah is the only one to leave a Yelp review for Spicewood Farms that is less than 4 1/2 stars. If you live in the Austin area and have a horse that needs boarding, it seems like a GREAT business!
In our previous post about Farrah’s review of Harvard we included a recap of her previous Yelp reviews for fear that they may be deleted and lost to history forever. We will continue the noble deed of documenting Farrah’s Yelp reviews for posterity here — including her review of the club she was arrested at earlier this year. I will arrange them chronologically, but I’m going to leave out the images posted by Farrah.
I’m also including a positive review left by Farrah, and that one does have a photo. 😉
Farrah Abraham Yelp Reviews
September 1, 2021
Delta Airlines
Omaha, Nebraska
1.0 star rating
After a horrible experience of a Delta manager not being able to understand the difference of visa, border entry paper work and lack of international travel this manager wanted to argue, was not capable of luggage math and with Delta status members and luggage wanted to charge rather then knowing how to handle the status members. Further discriminated on knowing myself from tv rather then focus on the luggage is not to be charged. I used my delta card and it’s free regardless. This is the worst I’ve ever seen Delta in Omaha.. if managers are this uneducated on international travel and not knowing what documents, reports and discriminating towards their known travelers THIS IS ALARMING!!! Please get Delta in Omaha NE help immediately.
December 22, 2021
Ayanna Walden, MD
Obstetricians & Gynecologists
West Hollywood, California
1.0 star rating
WARNING! Dr. Walden, the woman hater, know-it-all is now being removed from an amazing network of OBGYN’s. I was sent to her as my other OBGYN is off for holiday – I arrive and she wanted me to see her in her messy, unorganized office not in a normal patient room oddly to tell me I didn’t have birth control to remove! She said the wrong birth control and proceeds to waste my time as she wanted to pick up her Vagina replica so she could act like I don’t know what a vagina is. Maybe she even had the wrong patient up as I have a a different birth control which is in my arm. Then as I corrected her she needed to again act like she knows it all, but the point of the matter she had no one else in her office, she wanted to refuse service, she actually can’t stand being reality checked that she shouldn’t mistreat woman, she should be quite and listen to the customer and provide a simple fast service. The worst experience I’ve ever witnessed an OBGYN especially on a holiday. I hope this woman seeks mental help and Almond network is aware that she should be removed . The dump of a office, the elevator not working, the scam parking attendant and walking up 3 flights was literally the worse experience. My allergy to birth control should never be handled this way I wouldn’t trust this woman with my life! Be aware of this woman hating, know-it-all, discriminatory, denialed Pathetic practicing scam of a OBGYN. Hostile and hateful. WATCH OUT!
January 16, 2022
Grandmaster Recorders
Lounges, Italian, Cocktail Bars
Los Angeles, California
1.0 star rating
Batterment, racism, allowed by management. A woman and public figure who literally did nothing but pay them. I was let go by police after finding management and security was to blame an injustice to law. I can’t believe my friends head hurt from being hit and and security put me in the dirt! WARNING BATTERMENT! Assault! HARASSMENT! Do not go to this establishment if your a woman! Hate crimes are happening actively to paying customers.
February 3, 2022
Jardine Apartments
Los Angeles, California
1.0 star rating
Writing a fast review so no one else has to waste their money on this building, nor not have their safety taken serious and be taken advantage of. There are 3 major legal issues I had with this property but the residences I’m sure could tell you more. 1.) I had cold water the entire 1st month of my lease and they thought it was ok to charge me 14k a month for lack of habitat. 2.)A man in the building claimed he was a terrorist and followed my friend and I into the building one night and the security protected him and not the woman reporting the terrorist activity & told me to move out with out caring about building safety, moving costs, Or due diligence. 3.)The “concierge” does not exists and the security is more helpful then the “concierge”. 4.) The electrical car chargers were never fixed while at this property. 5.)The building managenent looks at people as endless money rather then humans thus I never had assistance or help. Over paying to have proper assistance and support is not worth it, instead your safety and care is compromised. They allow smoking on a nonsmoking building which I’m allergic. I wish this building all the best but I won’t tolerate building management not knowing how to be helpful to residence and not deliver on contractual promises. The small laundry machines were AWFUL and for the 14k rent a month I should have full sized as promised but never received it.
There was more then 3 problems, not to mention the increase in crime, gunshots, ambulance, the night club music you hear through windows and the morning loud garbage dumpsters. I could here my neighbor through my ceiling (their clock going off) . It’s a disappointment to spend over 14k a month on rent and not have sound proof windows/ ceilings.
AFTER being attacked on the street a block from the building that was the last legal issue I could take as my safety and quality of life is priority. The building only called to bother my movers and not return the AT&T modem they make you go with since their contracted with them. Fair WARNING.
June 19, 2022
Lena Salon
Austin, Texas
1.0 star rating
I’ve had no other choice but to write this and warn others Lena is not trust worthy, habitual liar and unethical business practices, as you can see she couldn’t match color my hair to the extensions she installed improperly as half the Extentions feel out with in 1 week, when I went back to have her redo the Extentions and color she couldn’t communicate with hair dreams even though I wrote down exact amounts, colors and have worked with Hairdreams corperate for many years she completely chose to have less hair and wrong colors arrive & tried to make me sign an agreement. I’m glad I left as my hair is ruined I wasted $2,900.00 or more dollars Lena went silent and never sent my money back after refusing to take corporates replacement hair and just fixing the disaster she created. I’ve had to turn her into the The Texas Board Of Cosmetology & as well my bank for breaking consumer laws. Never pay this scam artist upfront and don’t allow her to smooth talk you. Lena is a disgrace to the hair profession and should not be allowed to ever touch another persons head ever again. Fraud.
Reply from Lena (the salon owner) on August 12, 0222: Stop the lies and drama Farrah. You’re an adult now and can take the responsibilities for your action. Stop blaming on other because you want your way. Remember, to be great role model for your child. I had listened to your life stories and felt very sad for you. However, you just can’t take it out on innocent people or stylist. Whom trying to make an honest living. Stop that! Stop right here and do something great that your child will remember you by. I had did a great job installing the laserbeamer nano extensions and have pictures to proof it. After you came from your birthday in Hawaii I had toned your hair, style it and you love it! There was no hair falling out because I had check it. The pictures on here is not the 22” extensions that had installed for you. The 5 packs of extensions showed in the picture was given free and you refused and belittle me in front of everybody. The picture me that you take was sitting down and was in shocked because you turn into a monster! Yes, corporate heard every single words you say to me. Corporate and I did everything we could to make you happy however your intentions was something else. This is not the way to fame and glories. Stop the madness.
July 8, 2022
Avenir Apartments
Austin, Texas
1.0 star rating
After my health declined for 4 months since I moved in I ended up going to the ear, nose & throat doctor, I couldn’t breathe, I had severe pain in my ears, and this issue became worse every time I was in my master bedroom, master bathroom specifically- felt as though I could not breathe, I had to buy a ventilator,trouble sleeping, getting ready, I could no longer function. My doctor asked if I was around mold or standing water or moisture, I didn’t know if anything until I looked around after coming home from the doctor and feeling awful again in the master bedroom, I moved my dressers and other larger drawers to find about an entire wall of mold, wood trim, in carpeting . I called the manager and they had to remove the wall, remove everything, bring a fan in, even though they asked if they could just put primer over the molded water staines and keep the molded rug there- no amount of cleaning gets mold out so that was a no and a no by my doctor . Once I got all removed, I had a month til all was fixed, I could not sleep in my bed, shower in my shower, had my living room a mess, men in and out disrupting schedules as no one showed up when scheduled while I had to deal with getting my health back, finish medication as I had a sever ear infection from a severe sinus infection from a massive allergy to mold which was not taken seriously. I’ve now waited over a month to be credited properly for this issue, I was credited 3 months but not the full 4, the 4th month set me to a doctors,medication and was unlivable if it went on any longer I could be hospitalized or dead.The health, safety, habitat laws, health inspections are not taken seriously at this building under the management of Ermin, I will not have my health , living and financials compromised due to someone who does not care if residence get ill from mold. Lastly I should not have to clean, clean, clean, messes from construction- they claimed they would clean there was only one day they did some vacuuming after getting the new carpet dirty, I had to lay down my own plastic for construction workers. I appreciate the help I received moving my things as I would need help ! For electric car owners – I was told bids were taking long but that was all b.s as we all are aware you get an electrician which they have on staff to come and put in a 240 watt plug in and go! After I had to fight that battle with Ermin I finally got a plug in and electrical parking yet no other electrical is working and only one other electrical car parking spot- this has created a mess and me sharing my spot I had to fight for with everyone else in the building who needs a charge. Humane behavior is not priority on this property, I’m shocked there’s no electric accommodation mandated by the city at this point ! The contractor and warranty corrected the shower structural issue that made me deathly sick yet the manager thinks I’ll sign a document that says I’ll pay for my health declining because they now fixed the shower and wall- this has wasted 4 months of my life I’m disgusted I even have to waste more time writing a review but I wouldn’t want anyone else to die or have severe health issues due to the health inspection before move in not checking for mold, and being financially abused, bullied and mistreated to pay for the clean up, not being able to sleep in their bed, not able to use their shower, having to stay in hotels, this is wrong and illegal on many levels. I had to call corperate to finally get support if you are equally being mistreated call corperate in Dallas here: 469-***-****
Or send a message here : *******.***/contact.
Your rights matter feel liberated to act upon them.
August 19, 2022
Moving Up ATX
Movers, Furniture Assembly
Austin, Texas
1.0 star rating
the first time I moved no issues the second time I moved broken tv, broken vanity, broken versace glasses, missing items from kitchen. the worst part after spending thousands of dollars is for a moving company to not have an insurance policy and they try to say it’s not them. criminal activity and vandalism at its finest so their getting sued.
September 14, 2022
A***** W******* Apartments
Austin, Texas
1.0 star rating
The staff does not do due diligence
The staff is not reliable
They do not care about residence schedules, timing or planning.
Cleaning and maintenance is horrible.
At any moment it’s always “blame” residence when they abide by lease.
-the building dictates your Wi-Fi speed 1G is all you can get.
The clear lies, the purposeful lack of response and waiting over a month to fix things told “next day” complete is worse then I’ve ever witnessed.
After having to leave work to come back to babysit maintenance since they couldn’t use their two hands this is why I’m leaving this review as I was not needed and the building did not come prepared per the usual.
They can’t fix simple paint issues as the walls are left miss matched for months.
I wish this building all the best because it needs the best to upkeep the bones of the new building, the cleaning and support to residence needs an exceptional amount of training. No one should pay $$$$$.$$ monthly and be treated like this or disrespected in their home. 2022 lives by better work ethics, equality and inclusion then this building provides.
Asa Hawks is a writer and editor for Starcasm. You can contact Asa via Twitter, Facebook, or email at starcasmtips(at)yahoo.com
