THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – A couple of days after Dan Spilo became the first Survivor contestant to be removed from the show for inappropriate behavior, he made his first and likely last public comment on the matter. But even the Dan Spilo speaks out news was tainted by controversy, as Spilo only made a public statement after fellow cast member Kellee Kim took Spilo and the producers to task for not listening to her complaints about Spilo’s behavior earlier in the season
THE BLEMISH – If you haven’t seen the Kumail Nanjiani pic yet, do yourself a favor. I don’t particularly care for or dislike his work, but that is a seriously impressive spring break bod. Or some excellent makeup and CGI? Either way — worth a look!
CELEBITCHY – But, Meghan, Daenerys turned out to be badly written and then got stabbed to death after being queen for maybe an hour and a half, are you sure that’s the comparison you want to go with?
VOX – Oh yeah, and this happened
REALITY TEA – Come for the RHOC season finale recap; stay for the shade thrown at Gina Kirschenheiter
JEZEBEL – Headline Of The Day (bonus points for being funny because it’s true): “Cookie Decorating Parties Are the Ultimate Holiday Scam”
LAINEY GOSSIP – It’s Lost In Translation, right? The answer has to be Lost In Translation
THE BLAST – I must be loopy because this story about Shaq insisting Stevie Wonder isn’t actually blind has me *really* hoping that Stevie has just been faking it (or lowkey cataracting it) for the past thirty or so years
GO FUG YOURSELF – It’s one of the most difficult paparazzi genres to cover well: the celebrity-hiding-in-a-car photo gallery. And yet, tell me you wouldn’t appreciate a regular feature based entirely on this: “It is time for us to look at photos of royal and royal-adjacent personages driving to and from Granny’s Christmas Luncheon and make judgements about them based on what they look like through a car window!”
DLISTED – Everything about this clip is goofy as hell, and if it means one is hellbound for laughing at it then count me in
(Photo credit: Dan Spilo speaks out via CBS)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org or Twitter @john_starcasm.