THE BLAST – It’s no new thing to see Chelsea Handler naked (or at least topless), so Chelsea Handler’s bathtub surprise is less the fact that she’s sharing photos and video of herself lounging in her tub completely in the buff and more that Chelsea is using her nudity to promote a few quarantine book reviews. Also, the tub is empty, which combined with the photographer just seems like a recipe for double discomfort?
LAINEY GOSSIP – Apparently One Direction is maybe going to reunite at some point this year. 4/5 of the group looked to have been on board, with Zayn Malik the only holdout, but now it looks like Zayn might be on board? Plus, all the old One Direction social media accounts and web sites are mysteriously active once more
CELEBITCHY – This is the only positive review of SNL At Home that I’ve seen. Every other site seemed to think it landed somewhere on a spectrum that began with “Awkward as Hell” and ended with “Hot Garbage Unfit for Lorne Michaels’ Graveside Compost Pile”
VOX – Evidently if we want America to “reopen” we’re going to need to conduct Covid-19 tests on a massive scale in order to make sure that healthy people are still healthy and find out when sick people got sick. “Massive” in this context means possibly as many as 35 million tests per day. As of yesterday, the US had conducted just shy of three million tests total
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Jersey Shore Stars Snooki, Jwoww & Deena Cortese Say They’re Not Close to Sammi Giancola & Probably Won’t Be Invited to Her Upcoming Wedding”
JEZEBEL – RHONY fans, here’s a new opportunity for you to get salty while you try, desperately, to run out the self-isolation clock: “Tramp Stamps, Bucket Hats, and Frosé: A Real Housewives of New York Power Ranking”
REALITY TEA – Jenna MacGilllivray from Below Deck Sailing Yacht has no problem staying professional while also flirting heavily / making out in the walk-in ith Adam Glick, according to Jenna MacGillivray. I really don’t understand how *everyone* on the Below Deck shows isn’t shacked up with a co-worker. It’s tight quarters; you’re confined to the ship; the cameras are begging for #content — what’s there to lose?
GO FUG YOURSELF – “Proving it is possible to find good news amid the wreckage of our feelings, beloved author Beverly Cleary turned 104, and with any luck spent the day being reminded just how formative she was to multiple generations of children who are now having children of their own — some of whom may even have their own children by now”
DLISTED – Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas did not take an Easter break from their usual pap stroll; a couple of days after they both wore face masks (once), Ana put on what’s being called a “Gucci hazmat suit” and what I think looks like a designer Ghostbusters outfit. The red stripe on the breast pocket is a wonderful touch, even if it does clash with their purple dog leash
THE BLEMISH – Finally, it seems convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein wasn’t terrible to women exclusively during his time as one of the most powerful executives in Hollywood. Kevin Smith just revealed that Weinstein kept Clerks royalties from him for upwards of seven years, and that Smith had to have Weinstein’s books audited before getting any cash. This is not to say that being a huge dick about money is as bad as committing rape — it is very much not! — but rather to point out that we’ll likely be hearing about what a huge dick Harvey Weinstein was to people for a long, long time
(Photo credit: Chelsea Handler’s bathtub surprise via Instagram)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
