You may suffer nervous breakdown and die on Real World

If you have dreams of being the next great reality star may this little post be a heads up on what you could be in for. One of the original reality hits, MTV’s Real World, has a contract that is an eye opener to say the least. The Village Voice got their hands on the complete document but here are some highlights for a taste of what you’re signing off on:

• You may die, lose limbs, and suffer nervous breakdowns. (Stipulation 1)

• You may be humiliated and explicitly portrayed “in a false light.” (12)

• If you undergo any medical procedures while involved in the show, they carry the risk of infection, disfigurement, death. (4)

• If you contract AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases while filming [“gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), Chlamydia, scabies (crabs),’hepatitis, genital warts, and other communicable and sexually transmitted diseases or Pregnancy; etc,” MTV is not responsible. (7)

• Producers are under no obligation to conduct background checks on your fellow cast members. (7)

• Interacting with other cast members carries the risk of “non-consensual physical contact” and should you contract AIDS, etc. during such an interaction, MTV is not responsible. (7)

• You don’t have STDs, but accept that other people on the show might. (18)

• You’re not pregnant and you won’t become pregnant before the show’s done filming. If you do become pregnant, you’ll tell the Producer immediately–and pregnancy is grounds for dismissal. (38)

• If you get kicked off the show, it will be filmed. (14)

• You can’t change your physical appearance during filming, without the Producer’s express permission. (26)

• You grant the Producer blanket rights to your life story. (49)

• You promise not to hide from MTV cameras in establishments where they can’t film. (20a)

• The Producer can do pretty much anything they want with your life story, including misrepresent it. (49)

• Your email may be monitored during participation. (20b)

• Under ordinary circumstances, all of this would be considered a “serious” invasion of privacy. (11)

• You authorize the Producer to have total access to your school records, government forms, your credit history. (19)

• The production crew can show up at your personal house at any time to film and/or to take anything they want, as long as they return the objects once production has ended. (20a)

• The Producer holds the authorship and copyright to every photograph, email, website, sound or video recording, documented performance created in relation to the program, on every medium imaginable. (8)

• For one year after the show’s final episode airs, cast members are required to participate in all producer-determined press and forbidden from engaging in any media (radio, television, chat rooms, blogs) without the Producer’s written permission. (9)

Holy smokes! I love that a bunch of suits sat around banging this piece out. A good contract should CYA and I have to give it to the folks with Real World because when you include death, STDs, the ability to take any items from someone’s home and the ability to misrepresent a life you’ve done just that in spades.

It was hard to pick a favorite but I’m going to go with “You don’t have STDs, but accept that other people on the show might.” Let me summarize a scenario in which MTV would still be in the clear legally speaking if you were to sign off:

They begin by claiming you’re a terrorist that has murdered children. They go to your house and take your LCD T.V. just as an upgrade for the crew while filming, meanwhile the producer scrolls through your email to check out nude photos which causes you to have a nervous breakdown and sleep with another cast member who has syphilis and your system reacts freakishly causing you to lose a limb for which the producer has to approve your new change in appearance. Another fellow cast member actually is a terrorist and the show didn’t know because there was no background check and he murders you with a gun while the show films your exit.

You know what? I still want to be on Real World!