VIDEOS “CRACK KILLS” woman neighbor is next viral internet superstar

If you’re looking for the next viral video sensation, look no further than this revved up bikini-top-loving conspiracy theorist currently taking Facebook (and her apartment complex) by storm.

(WARNING – There is a bit of profanity mixed in with all the other randomness)

 

Normally I’d write something here — maybe quote a few lines from the clip or something. But I don’t even think that’s possible in this case! What was all that about mustard and ketchup?!? And the US Marshal and satellites?!? It would only lessen the purity and jaw-dropping surrealtrulescence to try to transcribe it.

Instead, I will just opt for another screen grab:

The video, which is titled “CRACK KILLS…..LOL!!!!” and has been shared more than 3,000 times at the time of this article, was originally posted on Facebook by a Ryan Lawless, who seems well aware of the popularity of his neighbor. Ryan posted an additional clip of his neighbor last night titled “CRACKHEAD B!TCHES ALSO BE LIKE…….” and it features his apartmentally deranged neighbor talking a bit more about ketchup and mustard in addition to showing off her dance moves and makeup skills:

 

And don’t think for a second that this is the last we will see of her! “This b!tch crazy…lol,” Ryan commented. “She do different sh*t everyday so stay tuned.”

OK, how long before this is a show on TLC?