VIDEO Botched Season 2 preview trailer with Jose Canseco, Shauna Sand Lamas, more

It was announced back in August that E! would be bringing back plastic surgeons Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif for a second season of their hit plastic-surgery-gone-wrong-gone-right reality series Botched in early 2015, and today the network released the first preview trailer in which it looks like fans can look forward to more of the same dramatic surgery horror stories that made Botched one of our favorite new shows of 2014! (Including some familiar reality show faces such as Jose Canseco and Shauna Sand Lamas.)

Where do I even begin? Those people and quotes are so perfect I feel the best thing for me to do is just compile my Top 7 lines from the preview trailer and make quote graphics:

7. “I am a glamor doll and I love looking this way! I’m just trying to kinda put everything in its place.”

6. “I’m not the most natural looking guy, but cosmetic surgery has allowed me to portray myself the way I have always wanted.” (I must confess that the before-and-after photos of this guy in the trailer are pretty amazing!)

5. “Whatever the latest, greatest products are, I’m first in line: ‘Pick me! Pick me!'” (I think it’s time to put your hand down, girl!)

4. “I wanted to achieve the look of Angelina Jolie, so I ended up in Tijuana. That’s when my nightmare began.” (This would make for a great — and pretty much always true — Mad Libs line: “I wanted to achieve _____________________, so I ended up in Tijuana. That’s when my nightmare began.”)

3. “I’m literally dying for a nose job!” (I’m literally dying to know just what kind of nose this guy wants!)

2. “I love plastic surgery! Purchase it if you weren’t born with it, damn it!” (Every season has got to have a plastic surgery goes sasstic surgery gal!)

1. “I was buying the bullsh*t because I thought for sure he knew what he was doing!” (There’s the Botched Season 2 tag line right there!)

Botched Season 2 is scheduled to return early in 2015, but until then you can get your surgery fix fix with the “Botched Reunion: Show & Tell” airing Sunday, October 26 and Monday, October 27 at 10/9c on E! (I was going to include an embedded preview clip, but E! has it set to autoplay and I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off.)