Town opts not to use Winnie the Pooh as mascot because his ‘dubious sexuality’ is ‘wholly inappropriate’

Winnie The Pooh Sad - Eeyore

Good luck ever looking at Winnie the Pooh the same way: A town in Poland shot down the suggestion to use the lovable, huggable bear as a playground mascot because Pooh is of “dubious sexuality” and is inappropriately dressed.

In a recording obtained by The Croatian Times, members of the Tuszyn town council spent of a good portion of a recent meeting discussing the fictional bear’s biological sex.

“It doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex. It’s a hermaphrodite,” one official concluded.

Another said, “The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe… It is half naked, which is wholly inappropriate for children.”

A town resident at the meeting added that author Alan Alexander Milne’s depiction of the bear is “very disturbing.” She added, “The author was over 60 and cut his (Pooh’s) testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity.” (It sounds like someone did a poor job of translating The Tales of Winnie the Pooh into Polish.)

Although the council hasn’t made a decision on what character should serve as a mascot for the playground, they seemed to favor the suggestion of a Polish bear who wears pants — because that makes much more sense.

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