Tiger Woods’ girlfriend Alyse Lahti Johnston full arrest report from 2010 DUI

This weekend it was revealed that Tiger Woods has reportedly moved on from his ex-wife Elin Nordegren – as well as his stable of mistresses – and is currently dating 22-year-old Alyse Lahti Johnston, daughter of IMG exec Alistair Johnston. (Can we officially stop calling them mistresses and refer to them as the more appropriate Sheensim “goddesses?” After all, we know who was the first with Tiger blood, right?)

Just like every woman to ever make headlines from the state of Florida, Alyse has an arrest for driving under the influence. Her DUI offense occurred in October of 2010 after she rear ended another vehicle with enough force to knock it off the road and onto its side in the median. (That’s her mug shot at the top of the post)

We’ve obtained the full arrest report from the incident and it has some unbelievable moments! But, before we get to that, let me remind you that Alyse would eventually have the DUI charges dropped to just a traffic violation for “Improper Change of Lane — Pulling in front of vehicle” after she brought in a high-profile Florida attorney. (I love Amurricuh, but sometimes it’s hard to deny that the legal system favors the wealthy. Keep reading and see if you don’t agree that 99% of people would never have been able to get out of this DUI.)

For those wanting the Cliff’s Notes version, here are the highlights from the report:

I asked her the time of her last meal and what she ate, she replied “two days ago.” and “apple”.

I asked her if she felt if she was functioning at 100% capacity. She replied “no”.

I asked her on a scale of zero to ten with zero being sober and ten being impaired where she would rate herself? She replied “f*ckin 10”.

Lahti could not keep his [sic] balance during the instructions stepping off the line 3 times with both feet and raising her arms to keep her balance. She began to cry kept trying to start and said “I can’t do it”. She then turned away from me looking off into the sky. I had to call her name several times to get her attention.

While driving to the DUI center Lahti spontaneously said “Can you tell girl in the other car that I will pay for a new car for her and that I am sorry”. At 0203 and 0207 hours Lahti provide breath samples .210/.205. In the DUI center Lahti made the following spontaneous statements: “I don’t give a sh!t, let’s go, I need to be held responsible for what I did. I’m so humiliated. I want to die”.

Did I mention that she got off with just a traffic violation?

Here is the full report. It should be noted that the officer who wrote the report seemed to have issues with the gender of his pronouns. (Otherwise, it was quite well-written I thought!)

On 10/9/2010 at approximately 0048 hours I, Officer Levy (16421) responded to the I-4 (S.R. 400) westbound exit ramp at John Young Parkway (JYP) to investigate an accident involving an overturned vehicle. I arrived and saw a 2006 black 4-door g35x Infiniti temp Ohio tag 862*** with severe front end damage in the grass in the middle of the grass median. I then saw a 2008 white Toyota truck FL tag 044-*** sideways in the exit turn lane flipped on its passenger side. I made contact with witness Claire Hansen who stated the following.

Hansens stated she was traveling on the I-4 westbound exit at JYP when a black 4-door sedan flew around the corner behind her on the left and then back into her lane in front of her rear ending the white Toyota truck causing the white Toyota truck to flip on its passenger side. She saw the black sedan continue into the median. She then saw the female driver, later identified from her Ohio driver’s license as Alyse Lahti, get out of the front driver seat behind the steering wheel of the car and wait by the side of the road while others stopped to help get the trapped occupants out of the white Toyota truck.

Officer Mickel Green (18090) completed his traffic crash investigation and based on damage to the vehicles, witness information Lhati [sic] was informed the traffic crash was completed and we were now conducting a criminal DUI investigation.

I asked Lhati [sic] for her driver license, registration and proof of insurance. I smelled the distinct odor of the impurities of alcohol coming from her mouth. I saw Lahti [ed. I’ll correct the spelling of her name from here on out] had Bloodshot, watery, red, glassy blue eyes with very dilated pupils. Her speech was slurred, low and she mumbled when she talked. Lahti fumbled with her hands while taking her driver’s license from her wallet. She was unsteady on her feet and staggered and weaved as she walked.

I informed Lahti I was conducting a criminal DUI investigation and requested he [sic] submit to field sobriety exercises to which he agreed. I turned off all of my emergency lights and had Lahti face away from oncoming traffic. I asked Lahti the following questions: Are you wearing contacts? Are you diabetic, epileptic, ill or under the care of a doctor? Are you taking any over the counter prescription drugs? Do you have a speech impediment? Are you injured? Do you have a glass eye, artificial limb or any previous head injuries or allergies? Lahti replied “no” to all questions except that she has had seven concussions from 2004-2009. I asked her the time of her last meal and what she ate, she replied “two days ago.” and “apple”. I asked her if she felt if she was functioning at 100% capacity. She replied “no”. I asked her if she was having mechanical problems with her vehicle. She replied “no”. I asked her how much he had been drinking, what she had been drinking, the size of the drinks and where she was drinking. Lahti said “two glasses of wine and tiny. I asked her the time she started and time she finished her last drink. She said “6 p.m.” and “7 p.m.”. I asked her what time it was. She said “oneish” actual time was 0114 hrs). I asked her what type of work she did and where? She replied “student, house stager” and “my neighbors.” I asked her on a scale of zero to ten with zero being sober and ten being impaired where she would rate herself? She replied “f*ckin 10”.

The following field sobriety exercises were instructed and demonstrated:

Horizontal gaze Nystagmus: Lahti stood with an orbital sway of about 2-3 inches and was weaving front to back. I checked her eyes for pupil size and equal tracking and did not observe any gross abnormalities. She had very dilated pupils. Lahti had lack of smooth pursuit in both eyes. She had distinct and sustained Nystagmus at maximum deviation and onset of Mystagmus prior to 45 degrees in both eyes.

Walk and Turn: Lahti was wearing no shoes. A line on the side of the road was used and I asked Lahti if she saw the line? She replied “Yes”. Lahti could not keep his balance during the instructions stepping off the line 3 times with both feet and raising her arms to keep her balance. She began to cry kept trying to start and said “I can’t do it”. She then turned away from me looking off into the sky. I had to call her name several times to get her attention.

One leg stand: I timed Lahti with a stop watch. Lahti raised her foot approximately six inch off the ground and began counting. Lahti put her foot down at 21 seconds and then turned away from me looking off into the sky. I had to call her name several times to get her attention.

Based on my training and experience, I felt Lahti was DUI of alcohol to the extent that his normal facilities were impaired. Lahti was arrested at 0130 and transported to the DUI center where at 0159 hours she was read implied consent. While driving to the DUI center Lahti spontaneously said “Can you tell girl in the other car that I will pay for a new car for her and that I am sorry”. At 0203 and 0207 hours Lahti provide breath samples .210/.205. In the DUI center Lahti made the following spontaneous statements: “I don’t give a sh!t, let’s go, I need to be held responsible for what I did. I’m so humiliated. I want to die”. Lahti was transported to the BRC. Lahti’s vehicle was towed by Johnsons tow service.