VOX – Ambassador Gordon Sondland’s testimony at Wednesday’s impeachment hearing couldn’t have gone much worse for Donald Trump. Sondland’s opening statement confirmed a quid pro quo; after that, the testimony offered plenty of meme-able moments, some of which made excellent use of the Curb theme music
DLISTED – Joker made a billion dollars; of course there’s going to be a sequel. The only question is whether Warner Brothers is going to try starting up a Joker universe entirely without Batman (or, worse, to tell any number of Batman v Joker movies from Joker’s point of view)
CELEBITCHY – It’s possible that Kylie Jenner’s sisters are “seething with jealousy” over her sale of 51% of Kylie Cosmetics for $600 million; it’s also possible that they celebrated the way the Kardashians tend to when the event is business and not personal: off social media
JEZEBEL – I really, really wish the 90s had given us a movie starring Julia Roberts as Harriet Tubman
REALITY TEA – She’s in good company: “Kim Richards ‘Never Really Liked’ Camille Grammer’s Ex Kelsey Grammer”
LAINEY GOSSIP – “You could probably use some soft TV to take the edge off in between holiday parties and family dinners. Here are the latest gems in super-soft watching, from internet shorts to cat show documentaries to get you through the holiday season without being arrested for homicide.”
THE BLAST – Brad Pitt is apparently not dating Alia Shawkat, which, good; this story also made me think of (and laugh at) Mabey Fünke’s tagline “Marry me!” for the first time in years
GO FUG YOURSELF – Katharine McPhee looks like a half a watermelon in this outfit. And no, that’s not a weight joke of any kind — check out the colors
THE ASHLEY’S REALITY ROUNDUP – “Counting On Season 10 Episode 5 Recap: House Hunting in No-Ho & A Horrible Camping Trip”
THE BLEMISH – Behold, the thirst trap in its native environment
(Photo credit: Sondland’s testimony via Zuma / SplashNews.com)
John Sharp is Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
