NYC Househusband Simon van Kempen keeps it ‘real’ with debut single

I can’t decide which is more awe inspiring; Simon’s ultra-tight red pants or the fact he has dropped a debut single “I Am Real?” Yes Alex McCord’s glorious partner has joined the stanks ranks of Danielle Staub, Kin Zolciak and The Countess by releasing a song.

Quick try to imagine what a Simon song would sound like.  Do you have it?  Now let’s see if you were close!

It sounds like Simon went with music to exorcise some inner demons. “I am Real” is some sort of mixture of Shakespeare and Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” Okay it’s not really Shakespearean at all and it lacks the lyrical depth of Black’s signature hit. What I’d love to see is wife Alex McCord listening to the track in their home office followed by reactions. If I know Bravo they will make that magic happen in an upcoming episode of The Real Housewives of New York City.

I painstakingly transcribed “I Am Real” and have the results here for you:

Here in reality
We practice duality
We kiss and hug preen and mug
Cause we are celebrities

You know I do my best
I dress up to impress
But she’s causing me stress
Thug in a cocktail dress

I am real
I ain’t gonna change
I am real
I am who I am and that’s the deal
I say what I feel
Love me or hate me I don’t give a damn

Gold and diamonds glitter
But the taste is slightly bitter
When wives attack behind my back
They trash me on the Twitter

Beware those daggers, cheeky tongue waggers
Too many to face you’ve got to have your swagger

Sick of itchy and bossy
Looking down on this Aussie

…Oh freaking forget it.  I can’t take any more of Simon’s realness!  So was the ‘real’ thing anything like you imagined?  And without question those Simon snake snuggin’ hot pants are much more awesome than that song!