Ianundercover.com is reporting that Will Smith contacted the Hollywood Madame known as “Renata” years ago, and after her guarantee of indiscretion (d’oh!), he asked for a male prostitute! Apparently, Subway isn’t the only place to get a five dollar footlong! Hi-yooo! (The article also outs Smith as a potential Scientologist. Is a name change imminent? Will Ron Hubbard perhaps?)
We’ve taken the time to re-imagine Mr. Smith’s career based on these “facts.” What if he had outed himself early on? His first success would have been as the first G-rated gay rap duo BJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Princess. That, of course, would have lead to his role as The Fresh Princess of Bel-Air on television, which in turn would have lead to the following resume of movies: (Starting with the most recent)
Hancock
Bi Man Legend
The Pursuit of Hap-penis
Shark Tail
One Eye, Robot
Bad Boys II
Men In Back II (Men In Black Leather II)
Ali Ali All Come Free
The Legend of *agger Vance
Wild Wild Wes
Enema of the Straight
Men In Back (Men In Black Leather)
In Depends Dance Day (This one works better if it turns out Will Smith is actually a female astronaut)
Bad Boys
Six Degrees of Sex Gyration
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