LINKS! Gary Oldman spousal abuse, Tarantino defends Polanski, Stassi’s sex tape resurfaces…

CELEBITCHYDonya Fiorentino, who was married to Gary Oldman from 1997 until 2001, is now openly accusing Oldman of abusing her in front of their children: “Our marriage was a giant car crash in which demented things happened….I would rather get eaten by a great white shark than go through that marriage again.”

JEZEBELAnd speaking of terrible things in retrospect, here’s the 2003 interview in which Quentin Tarantino defends Roman Polanski against claims Polanski forced himself upon a 13-year-old girl. Among Tarantino’s defenses: “She wanted to have it” and “She was down with this.”

REALITY TEAStassi Schroeder revealed that the former flame who tried to peddle her sex tape is none other than Frank Herlihy, who featured on Pump Rules‘ first season before apparently shuffling off to upstate New York, where he now works at a deli. “So, you’re fine.” -The fan of Stassi’s who told her this

THE BLEMISHDavid Benioff and D.B. Weiss, who created the television version of Game of Thrones for HBO, are going to create an entirely new, non-Luke-and-Leia-and-Han-based series of Star Wars movies for Disney…

UPROXX…but Disney is *also* planning an entirely separate line of Star Wars TV shows for their streaming service. Thanks to those, the brand-new Star Wars movies not yet in production, and the ones already coming out literally every year for the next three or four, whatever juice was left in this once-precious fruit is about to be squeezed out by a mechanical hand and packaged into oblivion

VOXIn a report since confirmed by the Pentagon, Donald Trump wants the American military to plan a big flashy parade for the American people to gawk at. Surprise detail: Rather than being inspired by a Russian show of force, Trump was apparently super impressed by the display France put on for their Bastille Day celebrations last summer. Basically, don’t be surprised if we start celebrating Fourth of July #2 this year

VERY SMART BROTHASEnjoy this explainer on the difference between “hungry” and “thirsty,” which comes with helpful Drake and Miley Cyrus examples for your learning pleasure

LAINEY GOSSIPHere’s Robert Pattinson working out shirtless and possibly shilling for an Antiguan beach resort while he does so. He looks more like a cub than a tiger to me, but to each his own heat

CELEBUZZEither Heidi Montag is pregnant again or Spencer Pratt is trying to play coy for attention. Since the Kardashians already trolled that game into exhaustion, let’s hope it’s the former

DLISTEDRob Gronkowski’s house got burglarized while Gronk was out of town for the Super Bowl. Anti-Philly fan theories currently percolating in the Boston metro area

(Photo credit: Gary Oldman spousal abuse via Tina Paul /

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