After months of basking some sort of glorious high school wet dream where he got to get his ears pierced, wear stupid shirts, and cheat on women he was cheating on his wife with, Jon Gosselin is finally losing everyone who enabled his asshatery. Both Hailey Glassman, Jon’s naive (until now) party-girl main squeeze, and Michael Lohan, Jon’s fame-wh*re mentor, have dropped him like a the hot dish of Cuitlacoche that he is. For the first time in my life I actually think Michael Lohan made a good decision.
Jon Gosselin needs some sort of award for being the doucheyist douche who ever douched. I mean, even Spencer Pratt is mocking on him. If Pete Wentz starts publicly denouncing Jon Gosselin, I think we need to just go ahead and retire the word “douche.” No one will ever douche again the way Jon Gosselin has douched.
A source told US Magazine, that Hailey broke up with Jon the day she taped the Insider interview, which aired Thursday, where she cried and explained all the lies and emotional dickery Jon has put her through. According to the source, at that point, she was already over Jon, and was just waiting for a chance to give him a thinly veiled F-U on national television. Well played, Hailey, well played.
Michael Lohan is also done Jon and went to Radaronline to declare their bromance officially over! Michael mostly blabbed about how upset he was that Jon was a liar and dickwad to Mike’s friend Kate Major, but he’s also really steamed because Jon alledgedly cut Lohan out of “deals to represent him” including a book deal, and probably that Octomom ridiculousness. For a while there it looked like Michael was getting Jon Gosselin money for walking around holding Vitamin water. Jon should have kept that deal, if I could get paid to walk around holding sugar water, I’d definitely do it.
Mike’s also upset because he got outsleazebagged after he introduced sleazebag Mark Heller to Jon, Jon started getting all “secretative.” This whole situation in on an infinite loop of shady that’s frankly making my head explode.
Hailey, and Kate, and even Octomom should be thankful they got out of this situation when they did.