Ed Westwick in the douchiest photo EVER!

Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick shows off his Chuck Bass hairy chest

I’ve just found the centerfold for the next issue of Douche Bagazine! Gossip Girl‘s Corey Feldman/Hugh Hefner mix Ed Westwick showed up on the red carpet of the CBS Summer Press Tour Party looking like Robert Pattinson after he had been soaked in vinegar and water for 2 years!

Ed’s less-than-manly hairy chest is clearly visible thanks to the extra-wide plunging neckline of his – ummmm – tunic? And complimenting his open-chested tunic is a pair of sparsely-laced red suede elf boots with tight, black bowlegged chicken slacks and Eric Estrada sunglasses.

I’ve done a little research and apparently he is wearing impossibly heavy silver bracelets made of undifferentiated quarks, the only possible explanation for his extreme case of simple chronic tiltosis (an affliction most famously contracted by Twilight star Taylor Lautner).

If I want to see a Gossip Girl star’s chest hanging out of a plunging neckline I’ll stick to Blake Lively, and if I want to see a stack of hot mess looking like the poster child for a Hot Topic meth lab I’ll click me some Taylor Momsen, thank you very much!