CELEBITCHY – Everyone out there who figured we’d see Chris Pratt engaged to Katherine Schwarzenegger by Christmas 2018, you were only a few weeks off. Chris popped the question to Katherine at some point over the holidays, because they’ve now announced their engagement and she’s sporting a ring fit for a Hollywood Wife
DLISTED – All Kanye really wanted to do was drop a thinly veiled defense of himself and his ever-shifting, ever-sh!tty beliefs — but what he actually did was defend R. Kelly, with what has to be the worst timing in music history
THE BLAST – Drake has apparently agreed to a multi-year Vegas residency. It’s only for a “minimum” of ten shows per year for an undisclosed number of years, but honestly? The $10 million fee seems kind of low for him
REALITY TEA – An employee at Lindsay Lohan’s Mykonos nightclub claims she’s more of a “hardass” than Lisa Vanderpump, for whom the employee has not worked. Nevertheless, this story will probably go through at least one gossip cycle, so hats off to the employee for pouring good tea
THE BLEMISH – God damn it Louis CK
LAINEY GOSSIP – Here’s the latest abomination from outrage sensation Logan Paul
JEZEBEL – “Mining what appears to be weeks of behind-the-scenes footage of the festival’s conception and brutal failure, Chris Smith’s new documentary Fyre is an incredible deep-dive into how the bumbling, dweebish frat boy in businessman’s clothing McFarland torpedoed his festival into a viral disaster.”
VOX – “Ever wake up to a numb, dead arm? Here’s what’s happening.”
(Photo credit: Chris Pratt engaged via Instagram)
John Sharp is a Starcasm’s chief editorial correspondent-at-large. Tips: E-mail john@starcasm.net or Twitter @john_starcasm.
