Accidental California cat thief confesses to crime on Craigslist

Is anyone in California missing an adorable black kitten named Django? A regretful cat-napper accidentally stole little Django during a drunken night and would now like to return the cat to its rightful owner.

The unnamed/unintended criminal explained how it happened on Craigslist.

“I stole him last night. Not on purpose, I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing. It was not until this morning when I was haphazardly going for a glass of water that I remembered I took the cat and noticed that he had a collar.”

Once he realized the cat was a stray, he sought to return it — although not for entirely altruistic reasons: “I have been feeding him cheese all morning and I don’t really want him to s**t all over my apartment.”

Hopefully Django is now back with his rightful owners. And, if the cat-napper ever decides to get an animal of his own, he should check with his local humane society. (Although, someone who says a cat “appears to be stoned” and then feeds it cheese probably shouldn’t take on pet ownership.)