Funeral home owner felt ‘caught’ by brutal obituary

LeslieRayCharping

A funeral home owner in Texas is speaking out after he made the decision to post a scathing obituary written by a deceased man’s daughter.

When Leslie Ray Charping died last month at the age of 74, his daughter Sheila Smith penned a brutally honest assessment of his life. The original obit posted via Carnes Funeral Home quickly went viral before traffic eventually crashed the host website.

Here’s the text, in full, of the remembrance:

Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping was born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses a** he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologies to the family he tortured. Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until “Ray”, the family donkey’s wood shavings run out. Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

News station KTRK reached out to Smith after the obit went viral and she expressed no regret about what she had to say in regards to her late father. “I told the truth. I am not sorry for telling the truth, and I am not sorry for standing up for myself,” she said adding, “For someone that knew him and family members that knew him and to see something on there that was a complete lie would’ve been an insult to everyone that he did bad things to.”

The Washington Post reached out to Jay Carnes, the owner of Carnes Funeral Home, who acknowledged that he was in a tough spot in regards to being asked to publish the piece. “I was kind of caught. You want to do the right thing. You want to help the family out at the same time. I don’t know. I was just caught.”

Carnes decided to take the post down after all kinds of harsh comments and spam poured in to his site. By this time, however, the complete text of the obituary for Leslie Ray Charping was part of recorded internet history.

Smith opined, “When you don’t talk about it and you don’t acknowledge the problem even exists, it just grow. It’s not going to stop until people say, ‘this is a problem’ and they talk about it.”


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  • Jojo

    I applaud his daughter for her honesty. Sometimes bad people die, and their family shouldn’t be ashamed for not having the “proper” mourning.

  • cali

    Although I do agree that some people should never be parents. It makes me wonder if he was this way bc of his mental illness. Clearly he wouldn’t be able to hold down a job depending on the extent of his mental illness. Sometimes people don’t have the right recourses or the people around them to help themselves get better. Mental illness is a bitch and it affects every individual so differently. Rip Leslie!

    • twelfthnight

      Mental illness is never an excuse to abuse others or disregard their needs completely, especially those who rely on you. I have had mental illness of varying severity since I was 8, and even though I haven’t always been rosy, I do not abuse people. My father does, though, and his father did.

      If a shred of this is true I know all too well what kind of man this person was. He sounds like my grandfather. Abused his kids, his wives and held no regard for anyone or anything else. This dude killed family pets, probably because they were inconvenient to him. My grandfather did the same.

      There’s mental illness and being an A-hole. You can be both, but one isn’t an excuse for the other.

  • TA

    It sounds like her Father battled mental illness for his whole life, and never sought out/stuck with proper care and treatement. How very sad, and it happens all too often.
    I understand his daughters hurt and anger, but perhaps she would heal more by seeking therapy instead of embarrassing herself and her family by airing the family’s dirty laundry for the world to read.

    • Guest

      She didn’t embarrass herself and her family, IMO. She spoke their truth and hopefully they will all be able to let it go and move on now.

    • It’s me

      It sounds like her father cured her of that..”embarrassment”
      Im sure he embarrassed her plenty & to be at that point…this post sounds like that obituary was her therapy.

  • DanaD

    So…. all the people saying “oh he must have had a mental Illness” were very fortunate growing up. Some parents (like my own) do no suffer from a severe mental illness but just plain ole narcissism. They lack the ability to put anyone else (even children) above their needs. I know this first hand. My parents put me through hell and to this very day PRETENDS it didn’t happen!! This daughter chose to be completely honest and say hey you were a crap dad, husband and friend. You won’t be missed. Good for her.

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    • FR

      She would have felt a lot better/empowered had she stood up for herself while he was alive. After he’s dead, it’s largely pointless (voice of experience).

      • DeeDeDee

        She probably did stand up for herself by cutting him off completely. They likely reached out to her after his death as next of kin and she decided to say what she felt in her heart.

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  • Ali.P

    I think it’s refreshing to be honest instead of post the same lines that everyone jots down after someone passes away. Not everyone is a good person. Why should you pretend they were just because they died? If you wouldn’t have done that when they were alive, why do it once they’re dead?

  • barbinop

    Yikes 😲
    Guess that about sums it up

  • sysmjp

    She’s one of my personal heroes. #messedupparentobituarygoals

  • Saved16

    She said what she needed to say & had every right to say

  • jeff

    Just because you have a mental illness doesn’t mean you now have an excuse to be a horrible person. It’s not a red herring. If he had a mental illness but worked hard his entire life and used the help available to him and still it defeated him? Sure, this would be a jerk move. But he let it consume him and it let him be an a$$hole, all while making no attempt to become a better person, or find a way to cope/handle his mentall illness. You have to be a monster to have your own kid post something like this. He doesn’t have an excuse. His innocent kids, those pets, his ex-wives didn’t have the sympathy of the internet when they were being abused by this dude. It’s just hypcritical behaviour on the internet’s part, and the old routine of people hiding behind a computer jumping down the throats of every person who doesn’t do things 100% correct because it makes them feel better (all while fvcking up their own lives usually).

    • Bruja

      This post. This post. Fanfreakingtastic, Jeff.

      This post sums it all up.

    • Me

      Yup. He’s just a bad person. Both bad people and good people can have mental health issues!

  • truckproductions

    and for the first time in her life, she was probably finally heard.. kudos to her for taking some power back.

  • DIDI

    Some people are just A-holes and don’t become saints just because they grow old and/or die. You reap what you sow, and I don’t find anything wrong with what his family wrote and what the funeral home published.

  • bambiglanville

    I guess I would be the only one on here to say that out of respect for a deceased person who cannot defend themselves to the world who now knows this man as a complete arse, the daughter should have just refrained from sending in an obit.

    • It’s me

      Sounds like he didnt deserve any respect

      • bambiglanville

        Perhaps- but I still don’t think such a hateful obituary was necessary.

  • pmo

    quick-witted, is misspelled.

  • twelfthnight

    People who don’t understand this probably have never had one of these people in their families. I have a couple, and yes we were relieved when they died. Not THIS relieved, but still. I have never believed in “Do not speak ill of the dead”. If they were horrible in life, they are horrible in death as well and should not have their BS glazed over and allow people to pretend they weren’t as terrible as they were.

  • ChelseaHouskasEyebrows

    Slow news day??? Jessa released the name of her baby and there’s a Tyler and cate cheating scandal. Two things you’ve yet to report about.

  • Aussie cathie

    Good on her!!! It probably has given her peace of mind to get it off her chest. So many people remember a few good things at someone’s passing and not admit they were nothing more than an arsewipe !!

  • Atomicpoodle

    My Father remarried and my Step-monster is very similar to this guy. My Dad died 7 years ago and she can’;t understand why we want nothing to do with her.Some people are just total #*&%#*

  • AshleyBlack

    I feel like this would be Frank’s obit when he dies and Fiona writes it. (From the show Shameless for those who don’t watch it lol)

  • disqus_LQmjCZP25F

    Congrats to this brave woman who opted to tell the truth instead of writing a “pablum” obit for a man who quite obviously a monster. Likely she did not even touch on his real crimes or his real acts of violence to her and her family. God bless this family and hope that the monstrous traits of the deceased will not be passed on. Brava to this woman!!!

  • disqus_LQmjCZP25F

    The only conscience this funeral director should have been bothered by is the one that allowed him to bury this guy!

  • Fick

    The only thing I take issue with is her saying that he embarsssed his family by receiving mental health treatment. What a shitty stigma to perpetuate. but if this guy was just a shitty person and his next of kin are glad he’s gone, they have every right to express that.